R.I.P. ThinkGeek

As many of you may know, ThinkGeek disappeared from the web this week ... you can still put the address into your web browser, but you’ll end up on GameStop’s site instead.  For the most part, it went quietly, without huge fanfare.  Some of us former employees “celebrated” this event the way we’d always done when someone left the company: we drowned our sorrows in tacos.  If you’ve seen a hashtag #TacosForTimmy—well, you probably haven’t, as it wasn’t trending worldwide or anything, but you can check it out on Instagram or Facebook.  But saying goodbye to TG was what that was all about.

I’ve mentioned before that I worked there, albeit briefly.  In fact, I once did a blog post talking about my time doing the Ask Timmy column.  Now, on the occasion of ThinkGeek’s (metaphorical) passing, someone suggested that I might be inclined to do one final Ask Timmy as a sort of eulogy.  I considered this quite seriously.  But the problem there is, Timmy is wise and clever and, most of all, he’s always nice.  I’m not sure that my own feelings on what ThinkGeek meant can be that restrained.  Truth be told, I have a little bit of bitterness about the whole thing, so let me get that out of my system first.

First, a bit of history.¹  These 3 pals Willie, Jen, and Scott were running a small ISP, back in the days when there were such things as small ISPs, and they had an idea for a side business, selling geek T-shirts and electronic doodads from a separate website.  They enlisted one of their ISP empmloyees, Jon, to pitch in, and the original thinkgeek.com was born.  Shortly thereafter, it got slashdotted and the resulting traffic brought the servers down.  That’s when they knew that they had hit upon not just an idea that people would pay for: they were hungry for it.

It was the very late 90s, and the dot-com bubble had yet to burst ... although, even when it did, ThinkGeek survived.  Nowadays companies such as Nerdist and Geek & Sundry get a lot of (very deserved) credit for the proliferation of nerd culture ... but, don’t forget that ThinkGeek predated both by over a decade.  In fact, while we can always quibble over the details, I would contend that ThinkGeek was the original purveyor of “geek chic,” and that it was a really big part of why geek is now big business.  Which can only lead to the question: what happened?

So, here’s my theory, and you can take this with as much salt as you care to: I was sort of vaguely an insider, but only for a very brief period (about 3½ years out of ThinkGeek’s 20 year history).  So I’m speaking about 82.5% as an outsider, really.  Bear that in mind.

As part of one of my other series I’m working on, I’ve actually done a bit of historical research on TSR, the company that originally created D&D.  It’s a complex story, but I think I can sum it up pretty succinctly: it was started by a geek (Gary Gygax), then it started making money, then the business people came in and forced him out, then they nearly went bankrupt.  It was eventually bought, by the way, by Wizards of the Coast, which was started by a geek (Peter Adkison), then it started making money, then the business people came in and forced him out, and then they got bought by Hasbro.²  This is nothing new, of course: Netscape was also founded by a geek (Marc Andreesen), then it started to make money, then the business people (in this case AOL) came in and forced him out, and now it’s a dead browser.  Remember Slashdot, the catalyst of ThinkGeek’s early success?  Founded by a geek (Rob Malda), started making money, then the business people came in (the same corporate entities that would go on to buy ThinkGeek, coincidentally³) and forced him out and now I can’t name anyone who still goes to the site for their news.  Hell, this pattern goes all the way back to Nikola Tesla, if not further.⁴  And it’s still going on today: Chris Hardwick and Felicia Day seem to be gone from Nerdist and Geek & Sundry after their purchase by Legendary (and then repurchase by a Chinese conglomerate).  And, again, we can quibble over details—for instance, I’m sure some of those geeks would disagree with my characterization of them being “forced out.”  A number of them left pretty unwillingly, but several of them decided to move on all on their own ... and yet I find it hard to believe that any of them wouldn’t list “increasing corporatization” as a contributing factor to their exits.

And, amidst all of what seems to me to be a pattern so clear even a monkey could pick it out, there seems to be this meme that geeks are just terrible businesspeople.⁵  For instance, I just dug out an old podcast featuring two scholars who wrote books on Gygax, and they both agreed on his lack of business acumen.  And yet ... what was step two of that recipe?  Step 1 was the part where the geek starts a business because they have a product that they’re passionate about and they want to share it with the world.  Step 2 was the part where it started making money.  Because, let’s be crystal clear on this: the big corporations don’t want anything to do with you if you’re not making lots of money.  Oh, sure: they always think they can make more money than you could on your own ... and yet they always seem to be wrong, in the end.  Probably just coincidence.

Now, part of the reason the “good” businesspeople never take any of the blame for the eventual (entirely predictable) failure is that such failures inevitably take a long time.  And, in the meantime, there are still wonderful, creative people working really hard to produce good things despite the terrible ideas the people who are ostensibly good at business are forcing on them.  TSR, for instance, produced some of their most iconic products and settings after Gygax left.  And ThinkGeek was certainly no exception to this rule.  Some utterly fantastic products were produced well after ThinkGeek was bought, and some utterly fantastic people worked there, some of whom I’ve had the pleasure of meeting despite never having had the chance to call them my coworkers.  I would never want to diminish any of the contributions of these folks.  But I have to say the downward spiral always seemed inevitable to me, and it was one of the reaons I left when I did.

ThinkGeek was bought by Andover.net, and Andover was bought by VA Linux, which changed its name to VA Software, which changed its name to SourceForge, which changed its name to Geeknet, which was almost bought by Hot Topic, but then was bought instead by GameStop.  And now it is gone.  And geeks everywhere are sad.  Honestly, I feel like it’s not so much that geeks are bad businesspeople as it is that businesspeople are bad geeks.  See, geeks know what geeks want to buy—I can’t believe that I have to say this like it’s some sort of profound statement when in actuality it’s sort of self-obvious.  Businesspeople, apparently, do not know what geeks want to buy, or how to treat them well.  They always seem to have these grand plans, and of course they know better than everyone else how to make money ... except they kinda don’t.  Any entry-level course on business will tell you that one of the most important concepts in order to be successful is to understand your market segment.  And yet, corporate overlords, again and again, think they know better and push out the people who know what they’re doing—the people who made the companies successful in the first place.  Then they just sort of flounder around dopily until they realize they have no clue what they’re doing and they either shut it all down or sell it to some other corporate sucker and congratulate themselves on a job well done.

Jon left first, and then Scott, and then Jen, and finally Willie, in 2013.  I wasn’t there for the last 3, so I can’t say for sure, but I deeply suspect that at least some of them didn’t go willingly.  I was there when Jon left, and so I can tell you for a fact that he was pushed out, in the sense that the corporate people running the place made it so miserable for him that he finally just gave up.  I know this because I was asked to participate in it.  I refused, and so I was next on the list of “how toxic do we have to make the environment before he leaves?”  The answer was, not too much more so.  I left ThinkGeek in 2007, after a really dumb argument with the manager who was the extension of our corporate rulers,⁶ and I moved here to California.  Where I am really really happy, and my family is very happy, and I have a pool with a jacuzzi and all that, so it’s not like I’m complaining.

Except ...

Except that, despite the fact that it comprises only around 10% of my career as a software guy, my short tenure at ThinkGeek was one of the best experiences of my life.  I had just come off 13 years of running my own business, which I only did because I was convinced that it was literally the only way to have a company that was a fun, respectful place to work.  I probably would have kept on doing that forever, except that the dot-com crash indirectly borked me by flooding the market with all those “programmers” who had gotten into the business during the bubble and now were willing to work for cheap.  They couldn’t match our quality, of course, but, at the point at which a company can afford to hire 3 or 4 such schmucks for what they used to pay us, they just figured they could make up the quality with quantity.  And I was forced to go work for someone else again, and I figured I would hate it.

Instead, I met Jon and Andy (who, despite being inherited from Andover was not a corporate shill, but rather one of the best bosses I’ve ever had) in a restaurant / pub, where we had some dinner and drank some beer and talked about whether I’d be a good fit for ThinkGeek.  All the cultural stuff they talked about sounded awesome—too good to be true, if I’m honest—and it was just left for me to have a more technical 1-on-1 interview with Jon.  Should I come by early in the morning some time?  I asked this with some trepidation, as I kind of suck at mornings, but I knew that was what was expected in the corporate world.  There were chuckles.  A lot of the ThinkGeek crew aren’t morning people, I was told, and Jon certainly isn’t.  Come by in the evening after the work day is mostly done.  I breathed yet another sigh of relief.  When I pulled up to the front door (it was, in those days, a small office on the backside of an office park about the size of a strip mall), Jon happened to be outside smoking.  I put on my emergency flip-flops, got out of the car and smoked with him, mostly in silence.  Then he said, let’s go in and talk, and we walked through the door, and the first thing he did was take his shoes off, and I was pretty much in love.  In love with the company, in love with the philosophy, in love with the dogs at the office and the cool toys that were always lying around and the loud music that we played for “inspiration” and the company videogame consoles and what passed for “meetings” which was mostly us sitting around a table and acting goofy while coming up with cool ideas, but mostly in love with the people.  I’ve written plenty about my love for Willie, so I won’t repeat it here, but I loved all those guys.  Jen, who was the first person I ever met who called themselves a “web designer” that wasn’t a pretentious bastard but rather a smart, thoughtful person who had style and understood how the web really worked.  Scott, who was one of the most down-to-earth guys I’ve ever had the pleasure to work with and was just a joy to be around.  JenVon, who was one of those no-nonsense types who always knew exactly what was going on and how to do things more efficiently, and yet still was super-fun to hang out with.  And of course my fellow code monkeys: Jon, who knew how to put his head down and just get shit done, who was often quiet but had a sly wit, and absolutely magnificent taste in music;⁷ and his eventual replacement Jacob, who was so earnest and genuine and probably cared more about the people who ultimately benefitted from the website (a.k.a. our customers) than anyone else I’ve had the pleasure to work with.  And all the rest of my ThinkGeek peeps like Andrea and JennK and even the people who I never met until much later like Kate, and many more: I love you all, guys.  You changed my life for the better.

Which, you know, sounds ... well, to call it “hyperbolic” probably seems like an understatement.  It probably sounds like overblown bullshit to many of you.  But it really is difficult to convey how impactful this one job was for me, and (I’m pretty sure) for just about everyone who worked there.  Oh, sure: we all bitched about corporate this or that, and we fought sometimes (as all work siblings do), and we had some bad days.  But we all respected each other, and we not only tried to have fun, we mostly succeeded.  More than that: we believed it was part of our job to have fun.  Not just work hard all day and play hard all night, but actually play while we worked, so that just about every day you would wake up and go, yay! I get to go to work today!  Most jobs aren’t like that ... most jobs don’t even come close.  But I got to do that for 3½ years, and I will always be grateful to the people that made that happen, and just a touch bitter about the people who made it go away.

So perhaps one day I’ll readopt the calm, soothing, wise voice of Timmy the Monkey and do a more proper eulogy: you know, the kind where you only say nice things about the deceased and ignore any faults they might have had.  But this week I’m feeling too raw for that.  This week I’m feeling a lot of mixed emotions, and I wanted to let them all out, both good and bad.  Because ThinkGeek was a beautiful, shining thing, and an important cultural thing, and I feel like it was taken from us too soon, by people who were greedy and yet probably didn’t end up getting rich, people who thought they knew what we wanted more than we did, people who probably looked down on us a little bit but had no problem profiting off our talents.  Those were not good people.  But still they cannot sully the memory I have of what ThinkGeek meant to me, and I’m sure what it meant to all its former employees.  We got to do something we loved, every day, and we kicked ass at it, and they even gave us some money for it.  And you can’t say fairer than that.

__________

1 Remember, I wasn’t actually there for ThinkGeek’s birth, so you’re getting all this second-hand.  My memory is no doubt faulty in places, and the memories of those that told me the original stories may have been faulty in places, and anyway “what really happened” is a bit of an aspirational myth for all stories, if you think about it.
2 Many would say that Wizards also has gone downhill ever since, but it must be admitted that they’ve had a bit of a resurgence of late.  Hopefully they can end up being the exception to this pattern.
3 Or maybe it wasn’t coincidental at all; that’s a part of the story I was never privvy to.
4 By the way: July 10 is Nikola Tesla Day.  Be sure to celebrate.
5 To be clear, this pattern isn’t limited to just geeks: creative types of all sorts have experienced this exact pattern, and they’ve also been accused of being bad at business.  It just so happens that geeks are the ones I’m most familiar with.
6 I’ve actually told this story before, in my post on fate.  However, at that time, I was being a bit more coy about what company I was talking about.  At this point, I don’t really see much point in such subterfuge.
7 Okay, except for the K-pop.  Sorry, Jon: I still can’t get behind you on that one.