Have you ever been listening to a podcast (or watching a show, or reading a book), and someone in the podcast/show/book says something so crazy, so outrageous, that you just respond out loud? You know they can’t hear you, but it doesn’t matter: you just feel the need to correct, or clarify, or just answer.
This happens to me all the time. And I often really do respond out loud. This week, since it’s an off-week, I thought I’d just a quick rundown of my responses-to-the-air for this week.
There’s probably somebody in your life who you, you feel maybe you’re disconnected from. ... Maybe ... send them a letter, write ’em a handwritten letter and send it to ’em. They would really appreciate it.
—Cody Johnston on Even More News, “Santos’ Little Cameos, New House Resolutions, And EVEN MORE GTA VI Reactions”
No, they wouldn’t, because they wouldn’t be able to read it.
[Context: Even More News is the “in between weeks” podcast that goes along with Some More News, and every week they start with some wacky holidays that are listed on the various wacky-holiday-calendars around the Internet and comment on them. This helps inject a bit of levity before they have to descend into the actual news, which is often hard to be humorous about. In this case, it was National Letter Writing Day, and this was an easy response: my handwriting is terrible.]
And for Prosperity to be built, there is only one way only, Prosperity can be built. Prosperity is built by entrepreneurs.
—Magatte Wade on Drilled, “Messy Conversations: Magatte Wade, Atlas Network’s Center for African Prosperity”
To quote Wikipedia, according to whom?
[Context: The Atlas Network is a web of “think tank” organizations with one goal: funded by the oil and gas industry (as well as the coal industry, lumber industry, mining industry, etc), they produce intellectual-sounding opinion pieces and “studies” that they then pass off to media outlets in order to spread the word that fighting climate change is bad. Magatte Wade is an African native (she was born in Senegal) and she pushes the idea that it’s unfair to try to curtail oil and gas production in Africa, because that just keeps Africans locked into poverty. Obviously what they need is for people to come in and help them exploit their natural resources, and that way they’ll develop their economies. As you can imagine, this makes her a darling of right-wing talking heads (the first time Drilled used a clip of her rhetoric, it was from an appearance on Jordan Peterson’s show). The sad part is, she actually has some valid points buried in there. But, in this episode, where she challenges climate journalist Amy Westervelt to a “debaite,” you can see that she’s far more focussed on running roughshod over the arguments of the other side and “winning” the debate than in any sort of honest exchange of ideas. She certainly isn’t afraid to play the “I’m from Africa and you’re not, therefore I know what I’m talking about and you don’t” card, nor is she (as you can see from the quote above) afraid to just state very shaky premises as “facts” upon which she then builds entirely unsound arguments. What I found the most infuriating, though, was her tendency to just talk faster and more forcefully and just ... more ... than Amy. This quote is from the first ten minutes, during which Amy lets her go on until she finally winds down; at the end of that, she lets Amy talk for about two minutes before trying to interrupt her. She’s clearly from the “whoever talks the most wins” school of debate.)
[affecting nasal voice] And I would sing like this, which I never sang like before.
—Fred Schneider on Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me, “Fred Schneider”
Give it up Fred: we have ears.
[Context: Fred, talk-singer of the B-52’s and utterer of such iconic lines as “it wasn’t a rock ... it was a rock lobster!” and “love shack, baby!!”, was responding to a description of the improv game “Hey Fred Schneider, what are you doing?” He apparently doesn’t think he sounds like that. This is reminiscent of Kurt Cobain adamantly insisting that Nirvana wasn’t a grunge band, or George Bush Sr’s response to Dana Carvey’s spot-on impression of him, wherein he claimed he’d never said anything like that in his life. The problem with such denials is, you’ve been recorded. We can hear you. Yes, Nirvana, you are grunge (in no small part because the word was coined to mean “music that sounds like Nirvana”), and, yes, Mr. Bush, when you try to say “not gonna do it,” it quite often sounds like Carvey’s “na ga da,” and, yes, Fred Schneider, when you call out “hop in my Chrysler, it’s as big as a whale, and it’s about to set sail!” ... you sound kinda nasally. You just do. Own it, man.]
And that’s all for this week. I thought you might enjoy hearing my (normally solitary) mini-rants. If you didn’t, you can just wait around till next week, I suppose.