Saladosity, Part 13: Bleu Cheese and Pecans

[This is the thirteenth post in a long series.  You may wish to start at the beginning.  Like all my series, it is not necessarily contiguous—that is, I don’t guarantee that the next post in the series will be next week.  Just that I will eventually finish it, someday.  Unless I get hit by a bus.]

I know it’s been a long journey, but we’ve finally arrived at one of my favorite—and one of the simplest—salads to make with our base veggies and collected condiments and accoutrements.  Just bear with me for a couple more sections, while I explain my:

Salad-Making Lingo

To keep the “recipes” for my salads simple, I’m going to present them all the same way:

• “base veggies” – This just means, take those base veggies you chopped last time and throw them in a bowl.  If you separated any out so they could keep longer, such as cucumbers or romaine, toss them back in at this point.  Quantity of veggies is entirely up to you: how big a salad do you want to make?  For me, the vast majority of the time, this is not a “side” salad; this is pretty much all I’m going to be eating for the given meal.  So just pick whatever size bowl you want, and fill it perhaps ¾ of the way up with the veggies.  You just need a little head-room for a few extras, the dressing, and the tossing.
• extras – In my version of salad, what veggies you use is irrelevant.  It’s the extras (and the dressing, of course) that makes the salad unique.  I generally just list these.  How much should you add?  However much you like.  Do you want a salad with cheese, or a cheesy salad? a salad with crunchy bits, or a crunchy salad?  It’s all up to you.  Typically I put equal parts of my extras; if there’s an exception to that, I’ll call it out in the “recipe.”
• dressing – If the dressing is one that you need to make, we’ll do a separate recipe for that.  Here, I’ll just tell you whether you want light, medium, or heavy dressing.  What do those terms mean?  Well, I’m intentionally leaving it up to you, but here’s a useful guideline:
• “light” dressing – Less that you would normally put on your salad.
• “medium” dressing – About what you would normally put on a salad.
• “heavy” dressing – A bit more than you would normally put on the salad.

I generally put “recipe” in quotes here, because you’re just throwing some stuff in a bowl and mixing it up; calling that a “recipe” is generous at best.  And, oh yeah: maybe a quick word about:

Mixing the Salad

Mixing a salad is often the only challenging part of making the damn thing.  The problem is, once you get the right size bowl, and you fill it up, it becomes practically impossible to actually stir it all up without making a huge mess.  And, at least in my view, nothing is worse than a salad where all the parts are separated.  I’m a firm believer in getting a little bit of each flavor (and texture) in every bite.  So, what’s the solution?

Well, the naive answer is always: just get a bigger bowl.  Duh.  And this seems like an obvious solution.  But I don’t particularly like it.  Because either you’re going to eat out of the bigger bowl, or you’re not.  If you’re going to eat out of the bigger bowl, there are two problems.  The smaller one is that eating out of a giant bowl is awkward.  The bigger one, though, is science demonstrates fairly conclusively that, if you use bigger plates and bowls and whatnot, then you’ll give yourself bigger portions.  And bigger portions—even bigger portions of healthy stuff like salad—is just not good for you.  So I don’t like that option.  On the other hand, what you could do is just portion the salad in the bowl you plan to eat out of, then dump that in the bigger bowl, mix it all up, then dump it back in the smaller bowl.  Which will certainly work, and that may end up becoming your go-to option—if that works for you, go for it.

But I still don’t like it, because it creates more dishes for me to wash, plus they’re big dishes.  Bigger dishes are always a pain in the butt because they’re taking up more room in the dishwasher.  It’s a trivial thing, but it irks me.  What I really want is for someone to invent a bowl that comes with a retractible, dome-shaped lid ... a bit like that lid you get on your Slurpee cup, only it would just slide back and forth instead of you having to attach and detach it.  Until someone invents that brilliant piece of dinnerware, I just make my own.

Take a bowl that’s even smaller than your bowl you want to be eating out of, and flip it upside down and put it on top of the eating bowl.  If the two bowls have roughly the same diameter, it should fit fairly neatly.  And, surprisingly, most bowls (outside serving bowls) do have roughly the same diameter: the difference in sizes is usually more about the depth than the width.  Now just take your two-bowl concoction and just shake it: back and forth, up and down, twist it a little ... whatever turns you on.  Remove the “lid” and you have a perfectly tossed salad.  You still have an extra dish to wash, sure, but at least it’s a little one.  Not too shabby, eh?

Finally, here’s our first salad.

Bleu Cheese Pecan Salad

One day at my Trader Joe’s I was looking for dip.  Typically we don’t eat a lot of chips and dip in our house—chips are one of those things that it’s super easy to overeat, so I try to save it for a special occasion.  But of course New Year’s Eve is a special occasion, and that’s when we eat the vast majority of our chips and dip for the year.  So at the end of December one year, several years back, I was looking for something interesting to dip some chips in.  Hey: I like French onion dip as much as the next guy, and I absolutely adore a 7-layer-style dip for tortilla chips, but sometimes you just want something different, ya know?  Anyways, I stumbled across this bleu-cheese-pecan dip, and I though, hunh ... that sounds like it might be good.  And it was, in fact, amazing: I think TJ’s still carries it, so you should definitely try it out sometime.

But, more importantly, I was inspired by how well the two flavors melded, when I had never really thought of them as a natural pairing before.  Thus, this salad was created.  If for some reason you don’t like pecans, you could subsitute other nuts—I’ve tried this varation with almonds, cashews, and pistachios, in fact, and various combinations of all of them—but I still think pecans are the absolute best.

• base veggies
• bleu cheese crumbles
• pecans
• feta cheese dressing (medium)

Now, you may remember that we specifically bought pre-crumbled bleu cheese, thus making adding bleu cheese to a salad trivial: no choppping, no mess, just dump some in the bowl.  We also talked about buying a decent pre-made feta cheese dressing which was close to Whole30-compliant—obviously it’s got dairy in it, so it’s not really Whole30-safe, but it has no added sugars of any kind, no soybean oil, etc.  I think it’s a pretty healthy dressing, and, remember, one of only two that I buy pre-made.  So that’s super-simple too.

And, the thing about dumping some of that creamy, feta cheese dressing on top of the bleu cheese crumbles is, it makes a better bleu cheese dressing than anything you could ever buy, and I’m guessing better than many you could make yourself.  Certainly it was way easier than making bleu cheese dressing from scratch.  And, while we will be making some dressings from scratch—never fear!—every once in a while it’s nice to have an alternative that costs you zero extra effort.

And this salad is really good.  This is not my go-to for a really big dinner salad (we’ll come to that one in the fullness of time), but for a lighter dinner (or maybe a big lunch), this is an excellent choice.  And it requires the absolute least effort of any of the salads I’m going to show you, so I eat it quite often.  Give it a shot.  Despite the simplicity, I think you’ll be very pleased.  Very pleased indeed.

Next time, we’ll ratchet up the complexity just a tiny notch, and I’ll show you my favorite “snack” salad.

There may possibly be more words in this title than in the post below (or maybe not)

Still working on my big project at $work, so nothing to say this week.  Tune in next week, if you’re so inclined.

Perl blog post #58

This week, I return to my Other Blog after a brief absence.  If you know Perl, and you’ve ever wondered what a good use for the local keyword might be, head over there and check it out.  And, if you don’t know Perl, then I’d be very surprised if you’d ever wondered that.  But, hey: stranger things have happened.  Probably.

All the people in the dance will agree

This week we had our annual summer party at $work.  Yes, yes: calling a party held just 3 days before the autumnal equinox a “summer” party is pushing some boundaries.  But in this case our party got delayed so that it could coincide with an announcement.  I’m not actually allowed to discuss that (yet), as it’s not public (yet), but I suppose I agree that delaying the party in this particular case made sense.

The party itself was quite lovely.  The company rented a big house right on the beach at Playa Vista, and we drank and played beach-type games, then we sat around and drank, and then we danced for a bit.  Oh, and drank ... to be honest, I mostly drank during the dancing.  I think my dancing days are mostly behind me, at this point.  Shitty knees, weak ankles, a herniated disc ... plus, realistically, I was a pretty crappy dancer even before all that.  But it’s still fun to watch other people dance.  And, did I mention the drinking?  That part was nice.

But mostly it was nice to hang out with my peeps from work, the vast, vast majority of whom are amazingly awesome people who are fun to hang out with on a beach with a cold drink in hand.  I’m glad we got to do that again this year, and I look forward to doing it again for many years to come.

Next week, a proper post.

An Open Letter to Judge John Hodgman

I am sending this open letter to one of my favorite podcasts, Judge John Hodgman, so I thought I’d also share it here with you guys.  The version below is a bit more fleshed out than the one I’m emailing, because a) when you’re writing to busy famous people, brevity is to be commended, but when you’re writing on your own blog you can be as verbose as you like, and b) I can do a lot more crosslinking here on the blog.

While the letter makes more sense if you’re also a fan of the podcast, I think you can probably manage to eke out some amount of enjoyment even if not.  And perhaps it will inspire you to give the show a listen.  There are worse outcomes, certainly.

Anyway, here’s the letter:



Your Honor,

I’ve been listening to your excellent program for a few years now—certainly not your oldest fan, but a faithful one.  One of the main reasons I keep listening is that your decisions are always right ... or nearly always so.  Of course, even a sage of jurisprudence such as yourself is only human, and can occasionally make a mistake.  At only one or two mistakes, I could overlook them.  However, some months ago, the number of such misstatements (all completely unintentional, I’m sure) reached a staggering three, and I felt I could no longer remain silent.

#1: Why all the hate for electronic cigarettes?  I’ve written about this on my blog before, but the executive precis is, e-cigarettes got me off smoking—and off nicotine altogether—after over 25 years of frying my lungs.  Now I’m consuming nothing more than water vapor and I still have to listen to people giving me shit about it.  It’s a little disheartening, to be honest.  I just cannot fathom what the complaint is: I’m not exposing you to second-hand smoke, nor even to secondhand nicotine.  Are you complaining about my second-hand water vapor?  Well, I hate to tell you, but you were breathing that anyway, even before I pulled out my e-cig.  I just feel that, instead of being congratulated on making a positive change for myself and my health, I’m being told I’m still scum because ... well, I’m not entirely sure why.  But I’m definitely still scum: lots of people have told me so.  Your Honor is not alone in this attitude, of course.  Many other people whom I respect greatly have also taken this stance.  Perhaps it’s just cool to hate on vaping, like dissing Nickelback or Keanu Reeve’s acting ability.  But Your Honor is generally not a joiner, so I’m not sure what the source actually is.

#2: I was also pretty discouraged by your discussion with your bailiff about how all us poor people in the tech business are forced to “dress down” because that’s the social norm in our industry.  Do you really think that I’m waking up every day and going, man, I wish I could tie a strip of cloth around my neck and be half-strangled all day, but I guess I’ll put on these horrible jeans with the holes in them so I can blend in with all the other guys at work?  Is it perhaps more likely that people who prefer to be comfortable in their clothing rather than fretting over how good the clothes look tend to gravitate towards jobs where fashion sense is not used a substitute for competence?  I know that you and the bailiff are natty dressers (and purveyors of fine clothing, even, in the bailiff’s case), but this discussion somehow reminded me of what a wise man once said about the difference between hipsters and nerds:

The definition, as we have discussed before, of a hipster, more or less, is someone who has enthusiasms like a nerd, but uses those enthusiasms to gain—to cudgel others with their taste, and to gain status because you like the wrong thing, or you don’t know what the right thing is, or you learned about something the wrong way, ’cause you found out about it once it became popular or whatever.  Whereas a nerd is someone who also has enthusiasms, but just wants to share the enthusiasms.

    — John Hodgman, “All Laws Are Off”

  
I never thought anyone could accuse Your Honor of being a hipster, but let’s just say I felt a bit like a clothes nerd when I listened to that episode.

#3: The coolest Delta fraternity brother is Otter?  C’mon man: D-Day.

I do continue to enjoy the show, however, and have even started sending a (very small) monthly stipend to Maximum Fun (which is something NPR never managed to convince me to do), because you were right when you pointed out that when artists you love do work that you appreciate, you need to show your support for that.  You’re right most of the time, really.  And I want to support that.

Another Virgo birthday season successfully concluded

Well, it’s the second weekend of our Virgo birthday season, so my eldest has been in charge.  We kicked off the weekend by hosting the kid’s crew for a marathon roleplaying session, to which we weren’t invited, so at least that made it easy.  And the kid had to work on Saturday—apparently being an adult means you have to work on your birthday sometimes.  Who knew?  Today has been more chill, with animal fries from In-n-Out, Chinese food, and an extended horror movie night featuring the original version of The Thing and The Return of the Living Dead.  With all that excitement, is it any wonder that I couldn’t manage to put together a full blog post?  You know, it’s weird, but back when I was trying to do a full post every week, missing two in a row during the Virgo birthday season never seemed that bad.  But, now that I’m just shooting for one every other week, missing two in a row seems unforgivable.  Weird, eh?

But, unforgivable or no, that’s the situation.  Tune in next week to see if I get it together.  Or not.

Entering the Virgo birthday season once again

This is The Mother‘s birthday weekend, but we’re primarily taking it easy, with activities such as swimming in our pool, going out to pick up Mexican food, and watching the new version of Tomb Raider (decent, although nothing to write home about^*).  Hey, whatever The Mother wants, The Mother gets, right?  That’s what we’re here for.

The Smaller Animal is back from camp and had a lovely time.  The Mother and the sprite are back from beach camping and had a ... well, a time, at any rate.  I took a couple of days off and tried to catch up on a few tasks I had, but mainly what I caught up on was sleep.  I dunno why I’ve been so exhausted over the past few days, but it’s been nice to be able to just fall asleep whenever I felt like it.  Next week, back to work—for four days, anyway.  Then another birthday weekend, but hopefully a full post for the blog anyway.  We shall see how it goes.

__________

* Or, perhaps I should say: nothing to write blog about.  Get it?