A bit of a cliché, but true nonetheless

While I’m not in general fond of “man it sucks getting old” posts, I do have to say that, of late, I definitely have been feeling my age.  Nothing major in the health department, really ... just your standard quantity of aches and pains that inevitably come with the wearing out of joints and the brittleness of bones.  There’s nothing to be done about it, per se, but I’m not sure I really need to do anything about it.  Overall, I’m fairly lucky, so I feel a bit ungrateful whining about the advancing years.  As they say, it’s better than the alternative.  Still, ...

Getting old does kinda suck.  Sometimes.

Whither Animals?

I’ve spoken many times on this blog of my love of animals and my opinions on ”pets.” But lately I’ve started to think about a trend that is happening in our society.

When I was young, I went to countless zoos, and circuses, and animal parks, and aquariums, and marine mammal shows.  Much of what I knew and learned about animals, I learned from those experiences: sometimes directly, sometimes because I was inspired to seek out knowledge after seeing some animal or other in person.  I would never trade away those memories.

However, it’s completely fair to point out that many of the animals I took such pleasure in watching and learning about were miserable.  Today, the circuses are completely gone,^* thanks to numerous articles; marine mammal shows will soon disappear for good, thanks to documentaries such as Blackfish; and societal changes mean that even zoos are on the decline, according to many sources.  And I’m not saying any of these things are bad.  Certainly the terrible treatment of animals in circuses and marine mammals in parks such as SeaWorld makes me believe that such places do more harm than good.  I’m sure all those marshmallows we fed the hippo in Homosassa Springs weren’t very good for his digestion (although, miraculously, he appears to still be alive as I write this).  As for zoos ...

When I was young, there was a book at my grandparents’ house called How the Animals Get to the Zoo.  Published a few years before I was born, I assume it was bought for me, though I can’t remember specifically being given it as a gift.  I do remember that, even as a child, I was more horrified than fascinated at the examples given in this book, which ranged from throwing nets on zebras from a helicopter to taking ostriches down with bolas.  Also plenty of spring traps and tranquilizer darts and other very disturbing imagery.  So I am not insensitive to the idea that zoos are not always good for animals.

Still ...

My youngest child has never seen a circus, and she almost certainly never will.  She’s never seen a marine mammal show, and, while it’s possible that she might one day, it’s pretty unlikely (certainly it’s extremely unlikely that I’ll ever take her to one).  She’s been to a few zoos and aquariums, and maybe an animal park or two (or maybe not; I can’t think of a specific visit), but there’s no doubt that she has far less real-life experience of animals than I did.  Of course, there’s more instantly availble video of animals than I could have ever dreamed of as a child; YouTube alone allows me to show her any animal I happen to mention within minutes, if not seconds; if we ever idly wonder “what sounds does a <fill in animal here> make?” then it’s a simple Google search to turn up a soundfile or video that will settle the question.  But is it the same?  I can’t help but wonder.

PETA in particular is very much opposed to any sort of system where animals are kept for the entertainment of humans.  But, if humans never experience animals in any other context than as images on a screen, will they care about preserving them?  Sometimes I think that PETA is going to end up causing the eventual extinction of many species just because people won’t recognize them well enough to give a shit when they’re endangered.  There are always unintended consequences.

In fact, studying the Wikipedia page for “unintended consequnces” is quite instructive.  In China in the late 50s, sparrows were identified as pests who ate 4kg of rice grains per year—each.  So the government put sparrows in their “Four Pests” campaign, and millions of them were killed.  Of course, sparrows eat insects too.  By the 60s, “with no sparrows to eat them, locust populations ballooned” ... and guess what locusts eat?  “The Chinese government eventually resorted to importing 250,000 sparrows from the Soviet Union to replenish their population.” As for the “Four Pests,” sparrows were replaced with bedbugs: yet another insect that, as it turns out, the sparrows were keeping under control, until their near-extinction.

Then there’s the Great Plague of London.  “The means of transmission of the disease were not known but thinking they might be linked to the animals, the City Corporation ordered a cull of dogs and cats.  This decision may have affected the length of the epidemic since those animals could have helped keep in check the rat population carrying the fleas which transmitted the disease.” And then of course there are the classic biocontrol-gone-awry stories, such as the Australian cane toad, which was supposed to control the grey-backed cane beetle, and ended up killing countless pets and endangering anywhere from 70 to 100 other species.

I miss some of these methods of exhibiting animals, even as I feel glad that fewer animals are suffering because of their decline.  But those unintended consequences are always impossible to identify, except in hindsight.  Will my children even have the chance to fall in love with animals in the way I did?  I can’t say.  I do what I can—taking them to whatever places are left that I believe are treating their animals in an ethical manner, watching nature documentaries with them, introducing obscure animals into games of “20 Questions,” and never failing to stop what I’m doing to bring up a video on YouTube if I think it can add to a conversation—but I never know if it will be enough.  And I think it will be important for this next generation: important for them to think of animals as awe-inspiring, as fascinating, as worthy of preservation, just as I always have.  If they don’t, if animals are just “ho-hum” or “yeah, I guess they’re okay” or “I suppose they’re fine, but they don’t really impact me” ... if they don’t realize how interconnected everything is, and how those unintended consequences can start falling like dominoes, then it might be too late to change course by the time someone realizes things have gone too far.

So, maybe it’s better that we have fewer zoos, and circuses, and all that.  Maybe animals are better off.  But wouldn’t it be a strange twist of fate if animals ended up suffering more because we are systematically removing all the places where people who live in the city and the suburbs used to interact with them?  I hope that’s not what ends up happening.  But I don’t know.  And I think maybe I’m happy I wasn’t born 40 years later than I was.

__________

* Unless you count things like Cirque du Soleil.  Which, you know, I don’t.

Treading Water in the Cesspool

This really should be a long post week, but I’ve had a shit weekend.  Somtimes you just have to give yourself permission to take it easy, and not stress about arbitrary deadlines that you’ve set for yourself.  So I’m doing that thing I just said.

I can’t currently foresee any reason why there won’t be a longer post next week, but then again I’m kind of shit at predicting the future, so take that as you will.

Breezin' on through ...

Made some good progress on the $work project this week, so I’m going to take advantage of the short week this week to just blow you off entirely, dear reader.  Sorry about that!  Still, next week is only a week away, as per usual.  So, you got that going for you.

Dreamsea Lucidity I

"But You Dream About Islands and You Go to Them"

[This is one post in a series about my music mixes.  The series list has links to all posts in the series and also definitions of many of the terms I use.  You may wish to read the introduction for more background.

Like all my series, it is not necessarily contiguous—that is, I don’t guarantee that the next post in the series will be next week.  Just that I will eventually finish it, someday.  Unless I get hit by a bus.]

Like nearly all new(ish)—or newly popular—subgenres, “lofi” means different things to different people.  In point of fact, lofi is neither new, nor limited to only what you can hear on YouTube if you do a search for it.  Wikipedia tells us that it’s just “a music or production quality in which elements usually regarded as imperfections in the context of a recording or performance are present, sometimes as a deliberate choice.” And that’s why you usually hear static or “scratchy record” sounds in lofi music videos.  But, if you think about it, that tells us nothing about the music itself: theoretically, one could just put some imperfections into any song and call it lofi.  So what type of music is what you will inevitably find tons of if you search YouTube for “lofi”?  Well, it’s a form of chill (a.k.a. “downtempo”) that is sometimes called chillwave or chillhop.¹  It’s basically trip-hop crossed with chill, mostly instrumental, and set to anime loops and labeled “music to study by.”

Now, a lot of what you can find on YouTube as “lofi” these days is pretty formulaic: one gets the sense that there’s just a generic lofi factory somewhere, churning these out over and over.  But there are standouts.  I discovered Finland’s Kupla because I kept listening to those 2-hour-long mixes of various lofi songs, and it seemed like every single time I would actually stop and say “oh, I like this one; wonder who that is?” it was them.  I discovered New Jersey’s Autumn Orange because they share with me a love of Critical Role, and they make lofi mixes for CR characters.  In fact, it’s the one he did for Caduceus Clay, Destiny and Dead People Tea that gives us our mix starter, “Islands (You Dream Of).” (And it’s the volume namer, too.)  Once I heard that, I was so intrigued by AO’s weaving in of quotes from the Critical Role crew and recontextualizing them to music, and giving them perhaps a heft I hadn’t originally ascribed to them ... well, I started to wonder if I could put together a mix that was a little bit dreamy, a little bit psychedlic, and maybe just a little bit deep.  Music that’s perhaps not trippy enough for Smokelit Flashback nor poppy enough for Candy Apple Shimmer.  In naming it, I went back to Clive Barker’s notion of the “dream-sea”: a place of dreams that is more real than dreams (a characteristic it shares with Robert Jordan’s Tel’aran’rhiod), which he names Quiddity.  This is music that sails along the dreamsea, but perhaps it also provides some moments of clarity ...

Of course, I don’t like to restrict my mixes too much in terms of musical subgenres and styles, so we’re going to broaden our scope out beyond lofi chillhop ... but let’s start there.  Besides the aforementiond Autumn Orange track, which really is the core that this volume is built around, I of course had to throw in some Kupla.  While almost all lofi these days is set to Miyazaki-style animation, Kupla really does seem to capture the feeling of background music from a Studio Ghibli film.  I love many of their pieces, but “Lavender” is one of my faves.  I had to restrain myself from using multiple tracks of theirs, but I figured I’d save something for future volumes.  So I went to Sweden for a track from Theo Aabel—I guess these Scandinavians are pretty good at this whole chillhop thing.²  Unlike Kupla, I don’t necessarily like everything Aabel does, but “Constellation” is pretty awesome.

From there, I started by branching out into general trip-hop and the more psychedelic forms of dreampop.  Old favorites Naomi³ are of course a good pick: “Heavy Little Lights” is possibly too long, but a real classic of this type of music.  And of course former Enigma producer Jens Gad⁴ can provide a perfect fit in his more upbeat moments, such as “Navajo.” British DJ Jakatta’s track “It Will Be” is a lovely piece of upbeat trip-hop⁵ that manages to make a voice delivering the time over and over interesting.  Finally, Morcheeba is a British trip-hop artist built around the smoky vocals of Skye Edwards; while I don’t dig all their tracks, some of them are just transcendant, and I think “Slow Down” is one of the best.  Here, it signals the winding down of the volume, where everything—from the title itself to the synth noises that sound like lonely winds—does that job perfectly.

To keep going even further afield, we can bring in a little electroworld with Carmen Rizzo;⁶ “Through the Sunlight” is an almost ambient piece that works nicely to bring the mood to a more mellow point after the first third.  We can drift through ambient with tracks from Keven Keller and Amethystium: the former, so far featured only on Shadowfall Equinox,⁷ provides a contemplative piano piece called “Hawi Moon”; the latter, so far only seen on Incanto Liturgica, gives us “Avalon,” which has a more mystical feeling.  And that brings us right to dreampop, where of course we first must sample the masters: the Cocteau Twins, whose “Fluffy Tufts”⁸ is a multi-layered track that provides just the right amount of dreaminess.  The next most logical choice is probably This Mortal Coil: “D.D. and E.” is a short bridge that takes us from the proper trip-hop of Naomi to the much lighter touch of Anugama, but it’s an excellent 48 seconds that just felt perfect for this mix.  And Kendra Smith, who was Hope Sandoval before Mazzy Star,⁹ has a number of psychedelic-adjacent albums, including the one I draw from here, Five Ways of Disappearing.  The real draw is “Drunken Boat,” which is both dreamy and evocative, both lyrically and musically, but her little bridge “Dirigible” serves as the perfect bridge from the trippy Jakatta track to the more buzzy Tashaki Miyaki selection.

And, if you drive through dreampop long enough—especially if you cross back and forth into ambient a few times—you’ll eventually hit Enigma, and that’s the last stop before you’re truly into New Age.  I thought I’d give Enigma the last word on this volume: “The Dream of the Dolphin” is a short track from their sophomore album Cross of Changes, featuring Sandra Cretu’s breathy talksinging saying just a couple of lines, and it’s the perfect closer.  As for New Age, the vast majority of it is going to be way too mellow and downbeat for this mix, but I thought that Anugama’s “Tropical Morning” was an exception to that.  It’s entirely too long, really, but, as 8½ minute songs go, this one is pretty solid for not wearing out its welcome, so I basically made it the volume’s centerpiece.

Dreamsea Lucidity I
[ But You Dream About Islands and You Go to Them ]

“Serial Angels” by Miranda Sex Garden, off Fairytales of Slavery
“Ilomilo” by Billie Eilish, off When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?
“Islands (You Dream Of)” by Autumn Orange, off Destiny and Dead People Tea
“Navajo” by Jens Gad, off Le Spa Sonique
“Constellation” by Theo Aabel, off Endless Memories
“Lavender” by Kupla, off Melody Mountain
“It Will Be” by Jakatta, off Visions
“Interlude: Dirigible” by Kendra Smith, off Five Ways of Disappearing
“Keep Me in Mind” by Tashaki Miyaki, off Tashaki Miyaki [EP]
“Outside” by the Primitives, off Pure
“Through the Sunlight” by Carmen Rizzo, off Ornament of an Imposter
“Heavy Little Lights” by Naomi, off Everyone Loves You
“D.D. and E.” by This Mortal Coil, off Blood
“Tropical Morning” by Anugama, off Jungle of Joy
“Hawi Moon” by Kevin Keller, off Nocturnes
“Almanac” by Widowspeak, off Almanac
“Fluffy Tufts” by Cocteau Twins, off Victorialand
“Drunken Boat” by Kendra Smith, off Five Ways of Disappearing
“Avalon” by Amethystium, off Odonata
“Slow Down” by Morcheeba, off Charango
“Everything Is On” by Asobi Seksu, off Citrus
“The Beautiful” by P.M. Dawn, off Of the Heart, of the Soul and of the Cross: The Utopian Experience
“The Dream of the Dolphin” by Enigma, off The Cross of Changes

Total:  23 tracks,  82:32

With all this chillhop and dreampop and ambient and even New Age, you might think there’s no room for anything a bit harder ... but you’d be wrong.  I’ve often said that Mazzy Star should be its own genre—or at least that we should have a name for what you get when you take shoegaze (arguably derived from dreampop in the first place) and feed it back into dreampop and get something really interesting.  I didn’t pick any actual Mazzy Star here, but I found a couple of artists that I think are Mazzy-Star-adjacent.  First and foremost, the most amazing Tashaki Miyaki, who I discovered via LittleBigPlanet and therefore have featured mostly on Paradoxically Sized World.¹⁰  “Keep Me in Mind” is one of those tracks that seems deceptively like just a pop song with some buzzy guitars, but it really grows into something bigger and more expansive the more you listen to it.  I think TM is probably the best of the Mazzy-Star-adjacent bands, although I know many have a fondness for Beach House.  Honestly, though, my second choice isn’t them: it’s Widowspeak, whose excellent “In the Pines” I used on Smokelit Flashback V.¹¹  For a long time I tried to transition directly from Keller to the Cocteaus, but it just didn’t work.  Finally I remembered that Widowspeak has a brilliant little bridge called “Almanac” that has the perfect dreamlike quality to make the connection.  Finally, Asobi Seksu (which is apparently Japanese for “sportfuck,” which was the band’s original name before they wokred out that no one was ever going to give them airplay with that moniker) is a bit more experimental in this space, which means that I often don’t care for the results.  Still, they have a good one every now and again, and I really thought that their bridge “Everything Is On” made the perfect step-down from Morcheeba to P.M. Dawn.

And that brings us to the first of the really unlikely candidates.  P.M. Dawn was a band that I always thought of as merging rap and New Age, which is as unlikely a combination as you’re going to run across, and yet they not only make it work, they consistently make it work.  As I’ve noted with other such weird combinations (such as Dread Zeppelin or the Diablo Swing Orchestra), a lot of times such artists produce the occasional gem, but their output is very inconsistent.  Not so P.M. Dawn though: every song on their debut Of the Heart, Of the Soul and of the Cross: The Utopian Experience is a winner, and I fell in love with the album after receiving it as a Christmas gift from my brother.  I’m surprised it’s taken me this long to work it into a mix, frankly, but then P.M. Dawn is one of those bands that has a unique sound that often doesn’t really fit it with anything other than itself.  But as soon as I started this mix, I knew that they deserved a place here, and I went with “The Beautiful,” which works perfectly as the penultimate song on the volume.

For pure alternapop, though, I didn’t think there was much that would work here.  Still, I thought there might be a Primitives track that might work, and “Outside” proved me right.  It’s slinky (which is why I used them on Slithy Toves), but also shimmery (which is why I used them on Candy Apple Shimmer), and overall fits the mood here perfectly.  I was perhaps stretching a bit further by including a Billie Eilish track, but I think once you hear “Ilomilo” (especially in context) you may understand why I chose this tune, which is both atypical of her music and yet quintessentially Eilish.  Finally, our opener is Miranda Sex Garden, who has been called everything from neoclassical to folk to goth, which only goes to demonstrate how hard they are to pigeonhole.  This is another band I’ve not yet used, primarily because there are only a few tracks of theirs I really like, and also the whole “hard to slot in” factor.  But “Serial Angels” is an excellent example of their dynamic, starting with gentle, almost inaudible notes that have a toy piano feel, which then build, and build some more, and then burst into drums and guitars and wordless vocal screams, and then drop back down to fade into Billie Eilish.  I think it works pretty well.

Next time, let’s drift away again.

__________

1 Apparently there’s some sort of subtle distinction between what counts as chillwave and what counts as chillhop; inasmuch as I understand the difference—which ain’t much inasmuch—I would say that what this mix features is more chillhop than chillwave.

2 And, don’t forget: some of the best trip-hop acts are from there as well, like Ugress and Röyksopp (both from Norway), and Trentemøller (from Denmark).

3 Seen primarily on Smokelit Flashback (volumes I and II), but also a couple of tracks on Cantosphere Eversion I and Bleeding Salvador I, one on Shadowfall Equinox V, and even one each on Rose-Coloured Brainpan I and Wisty Mysteria II.

4 Seen previously only on Shadowfall Equinox (volumes V and VI).

5 For a more downtempo track, see Shadowfall Equinox IV.

6 Seen on Smokelit Flashback IV and Shadowfall Equinox IV, as well as Rose-Coloured Brainpan II and Moonside by Riverlight II.

7 Specifically, volumes II, III, IV, V, and VI.

8 From my all-time favorite album of theirs, Victorialand.  For more on that, see Smokelit Flashback II.

9 By which I mean that she recorded with Dave Roback as Opal, which then morphed into Mazzy Star when she departed.

10 Specifically, volumes III and IV, but also once on Darkling Embrace I.

11 As well as another track on Dreamscape Perturbation I.

A productive week

This week I’ve made some serious progress on my $work project, so I’m pretty happy about that.  And I also completed my company performance evaluation, and that went pretty well too.  So, work-wise, I’m pretty set.  And the kids and I have gotten back to playing D&D on a semi-regular basis, so that’s nice too.  Overall, things are progressing fairly well.

Longer post next week.

Isn't It Ironic? Why, yes: yes it is.

I’m not as big a fan of Seth Meyers as I am of Stephen Colbert, but I occasionally watch snippets of his monologues on YouTube.  And another thing that Late Night puts up on the web (as a web exclusive, actually) is “Corrections.” This is an absolutely hilarious segment where Seth reads YouTube comments in which people correct him—sometimes reasonably, sometimes pointlessly, sometimes even incorrectly ... but it’s always funny.  Seth has a pet name for people like this: he calls them “jackals.”

Now, here’s the thing: I empathize with the jackals.  Well, mostly: as I say, sometimes they’re are actually wrong in their corrections, and there ain’t no empathy for that bullshit.  But I understand the urge to correct people, because I have it too.  When I’m watching a show, or a video, or a movie, or a streamed D&D game (or listening to a podcast), and they say something totally wrong, I will definitely yell at the screen.  What I won’t do, however, is then post about it on the Internet.  Because then you’re just being a jackass.  Or, as Seth puts it, a jackal.

This post is, somewhat ironically, me posting on the Internet about things that people in streaming shows get wrong.  I’m justifying this to myself by pointing out that what I’m not doing is posting this anywhere where the poeple I’m correcting might read it—for that matter, I’m not even going to call out anyone by name.  These are things that I’ve seen lots of people get wrong, so I think they’re more general corrections.  Hopefully that makes me less of a jackal, though I can understand if you disagree.

Note that I use the word “ironically” somewhat cautiously, because the Alanis Morissette song taught me that people—meaning the jackals—can get pretty touchy about whether you’re using that word properly or not.  Oh, they eviscerated Alanis—positively crucified her.  And she let them beat her down: rather than stand up to them and tell them to go look at a fucking dictionary instead of being all superior, she “admitted” they were right.  Except, you know, they weren’t.

See, the thing about jackals is, they’re in such a hurry to prove their superiority by correcting you that they often get it wrong and “correct” something that was right in the first place.  People wrote articles and comedy sketches and even comic strips without, apparently, even bothering to check the dictionary.  (Well, some people did, obviously, but those were the pieces about how everyone else was wrong about Alanis being wrong.)  Merriam-Webster, for instance, defines “ironic” as “relating to, containing, or constituting irony” or “given to irony.” Fine, then: what’s irony?  Well, M-W offers a whopping 7 definitions for that, but we can throw a few out: both “an ironic expression or utterance” and “a usually humorous or sardonic literary style or form characterized by irony” are pretty useless due to circularity, while defining irony as either dramatic irony or Socratic irony is obviously just a case of people trying to make the whole concept mean just one specific type.  Thus leaving us with:

• the use of words to express something other than and especially the opposite of the literal meaning
• incongruity between the actual result of a sequence of events and the normal or expected result
• an event or result marked by such incongruity

You know, like rain on your wedding day.  It’s a happy occasion, but rain is sad, thus: incongruity.  Now, granted, rain on your wedding day isn’t particularly ironic ... just a little bit.  10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife, though: that’s pretty ironic.  Finding out that the ride that you just paid for was supposed to be free: also a bit ironic.  And a person who spends their whole life afraid to fly, then finally convinces themself to try it out, and the first flight they get on crashes?  That’s some big, fat, juicy irony to the max right there.  Yeah, the ones in the chorus aren’t as much, but it’s a fucking chorus.  Songwriters take shortcuts to make shit fit: don’t act like Alanis was the first person to ever do that.

So I know perfectly well that I’m opening up myself both to being judged as a jackal and to being judged by the jackals.  So trust me when I tell you: these are things that I just can’t hold inside any longer.  Some of them are things I know because I’m a technogeek.  Some of them are things I know because I’m a D&D nerd.  Some of them I just know because I’m a would-be writer and I’ve studied a lot of grammar, and I even wrote a blog post once on it that was, in hindsight, taking a stand against the jackals before I’d ever even heard that term.  But all of them are things that I assure you are correct, and I invite you—nay, entreat you—to research them for yourself to verify that I’m right.  Just make sure you check multiple sources: it’s easy to find another jackal on the Internet to tell you’re right, no matter which side of any given debate you’re on.

Without further ado, then, here are the ...

Corrections

The word “dais” is pronounced “DAY-iss.” If you have a dictionary that tells you that “DIE-iss” is a valid alternative pronunciation, get a new dictionary.  (However, special dispensation for you if you’re from Australia: that’s just your accent.)

URLs never have backslashes in them.  Never.  They’re always forward slashes—also known as just plain slashes.  Especially if you have your own web site, you should probably know better than to use the word “backslash” in conjunction with its address.

You cannot “run the gambit.” Perhaps you were trying to “run the gamut”?

The singular of “dice” is “die.” There is no such thing as “one dice.” Especially if you roll dice for a living, you should probably know this.

The word “ogle,” meaning basically “to leer at,” rhymes with “mogul.” It does not rhyme with “Google,” because it only has one “o.” It also does not rhyme with “boggle,” beacuse it only has one “g.” Check your dictionary if you don’t believe me.

When speaking of computers, “memory” and “storage” are two different things.  When you’re out of space on your hard drive, you did not “run out of memory.” Because of things like swap space (which is a way to pretend that storage is memory), modern computers hardly ever run out of memory.  But you can run out of storage space (or just say you ran out of space: that should be sufficient).

The reason people fight over how to pronounce “GIF” is because of English’s dual nature.  While English is technically a Germanic language, it received a very strong Romance influence via French when the Normans conquered the Anglo-Saxons in 1066.  This is why we have two English words for many concepts, and one of them people may think of as “fancier” than the other: “work” is a good, solid Germanic word, while “labour” is a Romance word; “gift” is Germanic, while “present” is Romance.  And the rules for Gs are different in the Germanic vs the Romance.  In Germanic words, a “G” is always pronounced as the “hard” G: get, gift, gird, begin, lager, burger, target.  In Romance words, a “G” is pronounced hard before “A,” “O”, or “U,” but “soft” (that is, like “J”) before “E” or “I”: gem, giant, giraffe, genius, gesture, germ, ginger, angel, emergency, fugitive.  (Note that this also applies before “Y,” as in gymnastic or energy.)  But of course “GIF” isn’t either a Germanic word or a Romance word ... it isn’t even a word at all, properly speaking.  It’s an acronym, and a pretty new one, as such things go.  So we lack any concept of what the “right” way to pronounce that initial G is, so everyone makes up their own.  Some people claim to believe that it should be a hard G because the G in this case stands for “graphics,” which uses a hard G, but this is nonsense.  Would you pronounce ICE as “eye-kee” because the “C” stands for “customs”? or ACID as “a-kid” because the “C” stands for consistency?  Obviously when the letters become a new word, the old pronounciation is left behind.  So what you’re really left with is, how fancy a word do you think it is?  If you believe it’s a solid working-class word, then you likely think it should be a hard G.  If you think it’s a fancier, technical term, then you probably think it should be a soft G.  But, in the end, the whole debate is silly: stop using GIFs.  Use JPGs (pronounced “jay-pegs”), or PNGs (“pee-en-geez”): they’re better formats, with fewer moronic legal restrictions, and they don’t have this whole stupid pronounciation problem.  And, if you just call any computer image a GIF, then seek professional help.

If you are playing with D&D-style polyhedral dice, and you can’t read the number, just flip it over and read the number on the other side.  The opposite sides of a polyhedral die always add up to the number of sides plus one.  So, on a 20-sided die, the 1 and the 20 are opposite each other, as are the 2 and the 19, the 3 and the 18, and so forth.  They always sum to 21.  So, if you can’t read one side, just flip it over, subtract it from 21, and Bob’s yer uncle.  Also works with 12-sided (subtract from 13), 10-sided (subtract from 11), and so on ... well, okay, not with 4-sided’s (because they’re shaped like pyramids, so they don’t really have an “opposite side”), but with everything else.  Unless your dice are manufactured by people who don’t do things the standard way, at which point I’m not sure I’d trust that die anyhow.  I’m constantly amazed at how often people who throw dice for a living don’t understand this very basic principle.

I am sick and tired of people claiming that “people can’t multitask.” Because, you know, you can’t literally do multiple things at once: what you’re really doing is switching back and forth between them.  Exactly.  That’s what multitasking means.  People (mostly jackals) seem to think that computers are literally doing multiple things at once.  With a few exceptions, that’s not what they do at all.  In fact, when multitasking was first invented, it wasn’t even an option: multi-processor machines doing distrubuted computing would have been decades away.  Wikipedia even explicitly states that “a computer executes segments of multiple tasks in an interleaved manner, while the tasks share common processing resources” (in the case of a person who’s multitasking, that “common processing resource” is their brain, and “interleaved” is just a fancy way to say “switching back and forth”).  Now, I’m not saying that multitasking is a good thing to do—many studies have shown that you’re typically more efficient if you just do things one at a time vs trying to do several things at once.  But that also doesn’t take into account that sometimes a thing won’t get done faster whether or not you devote your full attention to it: that hour-long TV show is going to take you an hour to finish, whether you’re multitasking or not.  But, again, I’m not trying to say whether it’s good, bad, or indifferent.  I’m just telling you to stop claiming it’s not possible.

That’s enough corrections for today.  I hope the jackals are suitably chastened.  Probably not, but one can dream.

I’ll probably think of more corrections later.  Perhaps this can become a recurring series.  Certainly Seth manages to do around 20 minutes every single week, so I don’t see why I couldn’t manage 1500 words every six months or so.  But we’ll just have to see which egregious mistakes start irking me next.  Until then, don’t let the jackals get you down.

Cursed of the Gods

This week was another of those “the computer gods hate me” weeks.  I found a corrupted file, so I went to look at my backups, only to find that things aren’t really set up the way I thought they were.  So I have three recent versions (all of which were corrupted), and a version from January, and another from March.  So I restored it as best I could, sort of merging the newer parts that weren’t corrupted with the older parts that were outdated, but at least it gave me a full set of data.  Then I went trolling through scrollback buffers looking for any bits that I could use to update the old data to get it as close to what I had before as possible.

And, of course, after all that, I’m still going to have to fix my backups so they make this easier next time it happens.  I’m still not entirely sure how I’m going to do that, but I can’t even deal with it right now.  You ever have one of those weeks where everything you try to do just leads you to another thing you have to do first?  Yeah, that.

Anyway, enough bitching.  Next week there should be a longer post.  Tune in then!