Doom Report (Week 87: Brave, Brave, Brave Mike Johnson)

I think the top story this week is—certainly should be—the Supreme Court ruling against Trump’s half-baked scheme to fuck with mail-in voting.  Let’s not give the Supremes too much credit here: I’ll refer you back to week 78 where Kim Scheppele explained how captured courts will rule against an autocrat (especially when the autocrat can get the desired result in alternative ways) in order to maintain a veneer of legitimacy.  But it’s still a bit of welcome news (for a change).  Good coverage on this story from Brian Tyler Cohen (also includes good info on how to check your voter registration), Tuesday’s “Kinzinger Report” (also includes our new oil crisis, and more), and, of course, Strict Scrutiny’s breaking news segment.  The ladies have fun breaking down the bad (i.e. the unhinged dissent from Alito and Thomas, plus the almost-dissent from Coach Kavanaugh) in this overall good decision.

Another fun thing this week: the “return” of Mitch McConnell.  Best coverage here from Pod Save America and Jimmy Kimmel’s Tuesday monologue (which also has a pretty good montage of Trump falling asleep, plus some coverage of Don Jr’s Russian oligarch wedding party).  If you want a much longer discussion of McConnell and his place in the gerontocracy, try this week’s Some More News.  Written and filmed before the reappearance, but still incisive.  The reappearance itself was ... a bit weird.  Mitch McConnell looks like someone shot him full of that Joker drug that freezes your face into a grinning rictus then hooked him up to a marionette frame, and now he’s being Weekend at Bernie’sed straight into Congress.  To call it “creepy” would be underselling it.  Watch the clips yourself and you tell me how lively he looks.

---

Other things you need to know this week:

• Another good “Kinzinger Report” on Wednesday: the cost of the Iran War, the cost of DOGE, and more.

• Gabe Sanchez is back!  We haven’t seen him since week 79, but here he is with an excellent analysis of Trump’s Nazi tendencies, including an absolutely chilling side-by-side of Stephen Miller and Goebbels.

• LegalEagle’s Liz Dye covers Trump’s feeble attempt at voter bribery, from the legal perspective.  But also from the this-ain’t-never-gonna-happen perspective.

• ProPublica, whose reporting has been absolutely vital during this regime, put out a good breakdown of the Supreme Court’s devolution, and the Shadow Docket in particular.  (For even more info on the Shadow Docket, step back in time to week 66.)

• Robert Reich has a short video on Trump’s wildly illegal stock trades.

• Wonder why McDonald’s sucks lately?  More Perfect Union tells you why.

• If you’re up for a longer video, Even More News has an excellent breakdown of the Macklemore / Ed Sheeran / Free Palestine controversy, which then turns to some trenchant analysis of our immigration system with their guest Olayemi Olurin, a lawyer, political commentator, and actual immigrant.

---

This week, as BTC reported on his “Another Day” segment on Wednesday, Mike Johnson bravely ran away.  Again.  Brian covers this very well in the video, but it very much reminded me of the Ballad of Brave Sir Robin (from Monty Python and the Holy Grail).  If you feel like celebrating our vertebrae-challenged, poultry-inclined Speaker of the House, I invite you to sing along; I’ve written some fresh words for the classic tune.

Bravely bold Mike Johsnon rode forth from the Capitol.
He was not afraid to vote, O brave Mike Johsnon!
He was not at all afraid to be voted down in nasty ways,
Brave, brave, brave, brave Mike Johsnon!

Brave Mike Johnson ran away.
Bravely ran away, away!
When danger reared its ugly head,
He bravely turned his tail and fled.
Yes, brave Mike Johnson turned about
And gallantly he chickened out.
Bravely taking to his feet
He beat a very brave retreat,
Bravest of the brave, Mike Johnson!

Enjoy.