The rapidity with which Musk and Trump are falling out is highly amusing to me. I mean, they are two malignant narcissists: they were never going to be able to work together for long. But I did think it would happen after he actually took office. The fact that they just can’t wait to start sniping at each other is quite delightful to me. Is this schadenfreude on my part? Oh, certainly. Does it make me a bad person? Shit, I dunno; maybe. Do I care? Fuck no.
I should clarify: Trump and Musk have not quite started going directly at each other. Mostly what’s been happening over the holidays is that Musk (in typical Musk fashion) could not wait to start putting his agenda out there, and part of his agenda is to ramp up H-1B visas: people on such visas don’t typically ask for raises, and they certainly can’t unionize, so they’re sort of the perfect workforce for someone like Musk. But, see, the crazy MAGA-heads don’t want more immigrants: they’re busy trying to get rid of all the ones we already have. And they (in typical crazy MAGA fashion) don’t much care who’s footing the bil
Now, Trump has been conspiciously missing from these articulate “you’re a poopyhead!” “nuh-unh! you are!” exchanges, because he actually does know (and, apparently, care) where the money’s coming from. Remember, people like Bannon and kids-in-cages architect Stephen Miller appear to be true White Nationalist believers, but Trump is strictly in it for the money. He’s not Christian, but he’ll take money from the Christians (see also: $60 Bible). He’s not a neo-Nazi, but he’ll take money from the neo-Nazis (stand by, Proud Boys!). For Trump, being President is the ultimate grift: he overcharges the Secret Service for staying in his hotels, secured billions from the Saudis by going through Jared Kushner, and conned ABC into donating $15 million not by having a great case (the case was almost certainly unwinnable), but because parent company Disney didn’t really want to be on the wrong side of the incoming administration. At this point, he’s basically selling cabinet positions and ambassadorships: we will soon have a cabinet with a net worth of over $10 billion dollars, and that’s not even considering Musk, whose “department” is not even a real department, so he won’t be part of the cabinet. So Trump knows where his bread is buttered, and he’s not quite willing to join in with the MAGA nutjobs.
BUT. At the same time, Trump hates it when people other than him get attention. And the Democrats know this, and so they started the whole “President Musk” meme. Just as they knew that talking about his dwindling crowd sizes would get under his skin, they’re transparently playing him, trying to drive a wedge between him and Musk. And the great thing about playing this game with Trump is that it always works, no matter how obviously you do it. So where I see the true frictio
But the pitched battle over immigratio
Because we must take our joys where we can find them. Though that clip doesn’t show it, the speech Trump is giving there is the same one where he said this:
On my first day back in the Oval Office, I will sign a historic slate of executive orders to close our border to illegal aliens and stop the invasion of our country. And on that same day, we will begin the largest deportation operation in American history, larger even than that of President Dwight D Eisenhower.
Of course, the deportation is a grift as well: the value of the private prison industry is soaring right now, and which company gets to lock up all those prospective deportees will no doubt go to whichever company manages to line the pockets of the Trump family most effectively. But that doesn’t ameliorate the wave of human misery that is about to be unleashed. I’ve heard many commentators point out that this will be radically unpopular and may be the very thing that costs the Repubs control of the government ... but there’s a real cost to real people in the meantime. Will some of those rounded up end up being Americans who actually voted for Trump, possibly screaming “wait, wait: I didn’t think you meant me!” the whole time? Maybe. But not that many of them. So, even if we’re cruel enough to revel in the classic joke of “I never thought leopards would eat my face,” sobs woman who voted for the Leopards Eating People’s Faces Party, it still wouldn’t be worth the cost to all those who never even got the chance to vote, because ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS DON’T VOTE ILLEGALLY. Man, I thought the con man who convinced people to pay for bottles of something that comes out of the tap for free was a genius, but the hustler who managed to convince half the country that people terrified of being deported would risk their freedom to do something nearly half of Americans can’t be bothered to do ... man, that guy was really slick. So the horrors, they are a-comin’, and thus we takes our small joys where we can find them, even when they’re a bit cruel.
And, by the way, if you find yourself a bit overwhelmed by the thought of all that human misery and unsure what to do about it, I’ll pass on a message from Jesse Thorn, founder of Maximum Fun and co-host of Judge John Hodgman, who’s worked with his wife Theresa for a couple of different immigrant advocacy organizations. Jesse advises us to donate to Al Otro Lado (that’s “to the other side,” for those whose Spanish is a bit rusty). While they’ve already nearly doubled their goal as I write thi
One of the pieces of good news that I can offer is, as cruel and unjust as our immigration system is for migrants, migrants who have legal representation and have legal assistance actually have a pretty good shot. The reason is that our government is so incompetent that they always mess up a thousand things.
And that’s, once again, a bit of a sad place to find comfort, but, as I said: wherever we can find it.
Finally, I thought I’d address the “Trump can’t take the oath” thing that seems to be going around. Remember how, in 2020, the MAGA crowd kept saying that Trump would just refuse to leave the White House, and that way he’d stay president? Remember how we all laughed at them and shook our heads sadly at how deluded they were? Well, liberals have their sad little delusions too, and this is one of them. Let’s break it down.
Remember how Trump incited an insurrection? And remember how the 14th Amendment says that people who do that can’t hold office? Okay, now remember how several states sued to keep Trump off the ballot on the grounds that, you know, the 14th Amendment said he couldn’t be President? And then remember how the Supreme Court said, fuck the Constitution! we work for Trump, and he can do whatever he wants! Remember all that? Well, it wasn’t quite like that.
See, the Supreme Court didn’t actually say that the 14th Amendment didn’t apply to Trump. And they didn’t say that Trump wasn’t an insurrectionist ... because they couldn’t. Although the Supreme Court has gotten very good lately at doing things they’re not supposed to be able to do, they weren’t actually willing to go as far as that. See, one of the rules of an appeal to the Supreme Court is that they’re not there to overturn what’s called “findings of fact.” And the Colorado courts (and a couple of others as well) had adjudicated Trump as an insurrectionist as a finding of fact. So the Supreme Court couldn’t (theoretically) even look at that aspect. They just had to decide whether that fact meant that he could be kept off the ballot. And what they decided, in the end, was that the 14th Amendment never says an insurrectionist can’t run for President ... only that they can’t take the oath of office. So taking someone off the ballot isn’t an option.
But now (so the liberal delusion goes) it’s actually time for that oath of office, and so now the 14th Amendment will kick in and Trump can’t become President. See? Where this fantasy falls apart is, of course, that the person administering the oath of office is ... the chief justice of the Supreme Court, John Roberts. And remember how the Supreme Court works for Trump? Well, it might be more fair to say that the 6 conservatives on the Court work for Trump. And, actually, it might be even more fair to say that Alito and Thomas work for Trum
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