Virus Isolation Report: TV Edition (part 2)

Welcome to the second half of our year’s worth of pandemic television.  For general information on what this is, consult part 1.

You know, the one thing I didn’t mention last week was how I’ve sorted these.  In order to figure out how much time I’ve put into watching all this content (and remember what I said last week: this ain’t even all of it!), I had to come up with rough guesstimates of how many hours each series took up.  Mostly that’s just saying, oh, this show’s episodes are about 45 minutes long (that’s an hour-long network show, minus the commercials), so multiply number of episodes by .75.  Or, this show’s episodes are mostly an hour long, even though some may be shorter or longer, so we’ll just call it episodes == hours.  Once I had hour totals for all the series, I thought it might be fun to just use that to sort them.  So the first half was everything with a total running time of under 8 hours.  Of course, 8 – 10 hours is a common run-time for today’s streaming content: 8 or 10 episodes of a roughly hour-long show with zero commercial breaks is almost a standard season for Netflix, Amazon Prime, etc.  So there were quite a few in that range.  And then there were the show where I watched a whole shit-ton of seasons ...

Basically, what I’m telling you is: hold on to your butts.  Here’s where the numbers get really insane.  (Grand total at the end.)

American Gods S2 (Starz, ~8 hours) ★★

American Gods is the Great Masterpiece of Neil Gaiman, one of my pentagram of literary idols.¹  And American Gods S1 was incredible: one of the shows that proved that televsion shows based on books can both capture the essence of a great novel and offer something new—perhaps not, like True Blood, be better than the source material, but, like Game of Thrones or The Magicians (see below) or Good Omens or The Witcher (see below), bring something different, something valuable.  Then the showrunners got fired, and a bunch of cast members left, and S2 is not the same show.  It still has its moments, of course (I almost gave it 3 stars), but not enough of them, and it just doesn’t do a great job of recovering from the fallout of its troubled production.  Of course, after this season, the showrunners got fired and a bunch of cast members left.  I think I’m going to pass on watching S3.

Goliath S3 (Amazon Prime, ~8 hours) ★★★

The first season of this lawyer show (typically a genre I don’t care for, but the big names of Billy Bob Thornton and William Hurt sucked me in) was great: the mystery was convoluted but understandable, the villains were suitably evil without being unbelievable, and the show had a tendency to swing wildly from really funny to tensely action-packed to bizarrely surreal in an impressive manner that, surprisingly, worked.  The second season was not as good, I thought, but this third one is a half-step up.  Solidly between the first two in terms of quality, I’d say.  Worthwhile to watch the whole thing, if you haven’t yet check it out.

Jack Ryan S2 (Amazon Prime, ~8 hours) ★★★

Tom Clancy, like John Grisham, is one of those authors who writes novels with subject matter that I normally don’t care for.  But the books—and the characters—are so good that I enjoy them anyway.  This adaptation of ... well, I don’t think it’s any of Clancy’s novels in particular; it’s more of a reboot of the Jack Ryan character.  But it’s surprisingly good, and John Krasinski gives the character depth and likeability, which helps overcome the complexity of the plots, which can be ... challenging.  But, overall, pretty good.

Westworld S3 (HBO, ~8 hours) ★★★★

Okay, so the first season of Westworld is, obviously, brilliant.  Like, fucking amazing.  You pretty much have to watch it multiple times to understand what’s going on, and unlike some other shows that mess around with criss-crossing timelines (see also The Witcher, below), the confusion actually adds to the impact of the story.  Then came season 2, and I felt they were just trying to show off at that point.  While the storyling for Thandie Newton’s character was engaging, the rest of it I thought didn’t really benefit from the continued reliance on conflicting timelines: it just muddied things at that point.  Well, season 3 finally abandons that (mostly) and tells a more or less chronologically straight-forward story, but it’s still full of intricacies and subtleties that make it top notch.  The men in the show (Ed Harris, Jeffrey Wright, and, new for this season, Aaron Paul) are very good.  But it’s the women who really knock it out of the park.  The first season was all about Evan Rachel Wood, and S2 was all about Thandie Newton; well, S3 was, in my opinion, the place where Tessa Thompson got to shine the most.  But Wood and Newton are still great too.  Still not as good as S1, I think, but absolutely worth watching.

Lucifer S5 (Netflix, ~8 hours) ★★★

The story of Lucifer begins with Neil Gaiman, who is, as mentioned above (see American Gods), one of my literary idols.  Lucifer was originally a character in Gaiman’s Sandman, one of the most brilliant examples of graphic storytelling in our lifetime, and one of the two that everyone, regardless of how they feel about comics, really ought to have read.²  Then he had his own comic series, then his own television series, where he was brilliantly portrayed by Tom Ellis, then it got cancelled, because it was on Fox, and Fox cancels everything good.³  But then Netflix picked up what Fox dropped on the floor, and it limps on.  Mostly what’s wrong with show is nothing to do with the acting, which is great, or the characters, who are mostly great (I’ve honestly never been a fan of Chloe, despite the fact that she’s ostensibly the protagonist, even more so than Lucifer himself).  It’s just that this is a tough premise to keep on doing well after all this time, and forcing the two main characters to be “tragically” kept apart when all they want is to be together eventually gets both old and implausible.  Listen, showrunners: when two people finally get together, they can still have interesting lives ... promise!⁴  Anyhow, the show’s still good.  Just ... not as good.

Altered Carbon S2 (Netflix, ~8 hours) ★★★

Very close to a 4, S2 of Altered Carbon, subbing in Anthony Mackie (Falcon from the MCU) for S1’s Joel Kinnaman (more famous in his native Sweden, but seen in a few things in the US, such as House of Cards) continues its transhumanist story of Takeshi Kovacs (same character, new body) with almost as much flair and verve as the first season.  The fight scenes are just as good, and the standout character continues to be the AI Poe (played by Chris Conner, who apparently I don’t know from anything other than a few episodes of Bones), but I think the main plot of S2 tries too hard to be deep, whereas S1 stuck with the whodunnit and left the philosophical meanderings to the setting and the subplots.  I enjoyed it—and especially the addition of Simone Missick (the exquisite Misty Knight from Luke Cage et al)—but I think it’s step down from S1.  Not a big step, but a step nonetheless.

The Boys S2 (Amazon Prime, ~8 hours) ★★★★

Okay, wow.  The Boys is based on a comic by Garth Ennis, and he’s the guy who dreamed up Preacher, so that ought to tell you what you’re in for.  There is a lot of sex, a lot of “good” guys doing terrible things, and a metric shit-ton of blood and guts spattered all over the place.  Not to mention uncomfortable combinations of all the above.  The first season was a hard act to follow, but S2 does a pretty amazing job of it, going more in depth for some of the supporting characters and having some pretty interesting twists.  Just make sure you have a twisted sense of humor and a strong stomach.

The Witcher S1 rewatch (Netflix, ~8 hours) ★★★★

The Witcher, hotly anticipated and much talked about, almost lives up to its hype.  Honestly, I think season 2 really will be the amazing, epic story that season 1 tries to be.  This is the first thing I’ve really liked Henry Cavill in, and he is astoundingly good in it.  The state of the art for fantasy series has advanced significantly since I was a kid, and this one is gorgeous: the monsters are terrifying, the action is thrilling, and the sex is steamy.  My only complaint is that I’m not sure the nonlinear structure is really serving the story here.  I had to watch it twice to get the story straight, and, while it does all fit together in the end, it seems unnecessarily complex.  But still really good, and it makes me excited to see what season 2 has in store.

Narrative Telephone R1 (YouTube, ~8 hours) ★★★★★

This is one of the ideas that the Critical Role cast came up with to do before they figured out how to stream D&D during the pandemic, and it’s difficult to convey just how amazingly hilarious it is.  I already talked about exactly what it is, so I won’t belabor it, but just to reiterate: while most of the stories will be all the more entertaining to fans of their stream, you don’t have to play D&D (or know anything about it) to appreciate the humor here.  Can’t recommend it enough.

The Stand S1 (CBS All Access, ~8½ hours) ★★★★

The original mini-series of Stephen King’s second-biggest masterpiece⁵ was pretty decent, with Molly Ringwald and Gary Sinise as Fran and Stu.  There were some other inspired choices (I liked Laura San Giacomo as Nadine, and espeically Matt Frewer as the Trashcan Man), but overall it wasn’t epic.  This version ... I dunno, I think it almost achieves that.  James Marsden is no Gary Sinise, but Whoopi Goldberg is an amazing choice for Mother Abigail, Greg Kinnear made a surprisingly interesting Glen, and Jovan Adepo (whom you may remember as the younger version of Louis Gosset Jr from HBO’s Watchmen) is a much more intriguing Larry Underwood, who was so forgettable in the 90s series that even now when I looked him up I still couldn’t remember anything about his performance.  But it is perhaps Alexander Skarsgård who really sells this: playing the complex Eric from True Blood has given him an insight, I think, into playing murderous monsters.  Eric, of course, had redeeming qualities, which are all sanded off here, but he’s still sexy and seductive and very, very scary.  Plus the “smaller” parts are filled by amazing people such as Fiona Dourif,⁶ Ezra Miller, J.K. Simmons, and Heather Graham.  Despite being on CBS, it doesn’t really hold back too much on the violence, and I think that’s appropriate for this story.  Overall I was pretty impressed with this version.

Harley Quinn S1 – S2 (HBO, ~9 hours) ★★★★

Remember when I talked about Castlevania and how modern animation is moving toward a lot of sex and (even moreso) ultraviolence?  Well, Harley Quinn (originally on DC Universe) is a primo example.  It’s really weird how, despite being unutterably bloody, this show actually has a very positive message for young girls.  I suppose you’ll need a very special little girl to be able to enjoy something this raunchy and gory with her, but I happen to have one, and, let me tell you: I enjoyed watching this with her immensely.  Pretty much all the male characters are completely useless, and the women do all the interesting things.  Plus the voice acting is stunning: Kaley Cuoco (from The Big Bang Theory; see below) is the main character, but there’s also Lake Bell, Sanaa Lathan, Rachel Dratch, Kaley’s sister Briana, Alan Tudyk, Ron Funches, Tony Hale, J.B. Smoove ... I particularly enjoyed Christopher Meloni’s perpetually-besotted Commissioner Gordon.⁷  Highly recommended for those who enjoy bloody superhero shows (like, say, The Boys, just up above).

Cake S1 – S3 (Hulu, ~9½ hours) ★★★

I started watching Cake because it was the only way to see Dicktown (see last week), but I decided to watch the whole thing.  It’s sort of a modern take on MTV’s Liquid Television, which gave us Æon Flux.  There are super short animated bits, longer (but still fairly short) live-action segments, many of which are recurring, and really bizarre interludes that just sort of make your brain melt.  Like anything of this type, it’s a very mixed bag: some of Quarter Life Poetry is brilliant; Oh Jerome, No is actually kind of touching (eventually); Drifters is often fascinating; Troll: Therapy is often fun.  Then again, Two Pink Doors is just terrible, and Shark Lords is a bridge too far, even for me.  But, overall, I’m not sorry I experienced it.

Blindspot S5 (Hulu, ~10 hours) ★★

Okay, so the sunk cost fallacy really is true for TV shows.  I knew Blindspot was getting terribler as it went on, but I was committed to seeing it through to the end.  Not for the main characters: I like Jamie Alexander well enough, but Jane Doe is just an irksome character, and neither Kurt Weller nor his actor interest me at all.  But Ashley Johnson and Ennis Esmer are the real draw here, and I was happy to see some resolution for the super-sexy nerd whose dad is Bill Nye the Science Guy and the pansexual, so-incapable-of-taking-anything-seriously-that-he-legally-changed-his-name-to-an-Internet-domain guy ... you know, those classic tropes.  The best thing I can say about Blindspot S5?  Well, it’s finally over.

Nightflyers S1 (Netflix, ~10 hours) ★★

The idea of a scifi show based on a book by the same guy that wrote the series Game of Thrones is based on sounds better than it actually turns out to be.  There are a lot of interesting ideas here, but I just didn’t feel like any of them came together that well.  I enjoyed Gretchen Mol (from Boardwalk Empire) and Angus Sampson (from Shut Eye); Jodie Turner-Smith and Maya Eshet I was less familiar with, but found them interesting to watch as well.  I just don’t think the whole thing came together in the end, and it left me feeling a bit underwhelmed.

Hunters S1 (Amazon Prime, ~10 hours) ★★★

This is an amazing, if once again ultraviolent, series, featuring an insane cast: Al Pacino, Saul Rubinek, and Carol Kane have nearly 400 IMDB credits among the three of them, and Josh Radnor (from How I Met Your Mother) and Logan Lerman (from the Percy Jackson films) aren’t too shoddy either.  The story is a bit of a Jewish revenge fantasy, as the families of Holocaust survivors hunt down Nazis living in America.  It’s always satisfying to see Nazis get killed in bloody ways—see also Inglourious Basterds—but, unlike Tarantino’s take on it, this story is much more complex.  Unfortunately, it takes a hard left turn near the end that I’m not sure works completely (or at all).  Still good enough to recommend, however.

Helstrom S1 (Hulu, ~10 hours) ★★★

Many people love Disney+, but I will always hold a grudge against it, because its coming killed all the Marvel TV shows, many of which were fantastic and almost all of which were at least good.  It not only offed all the Netflix shows—Daredevil, Jessica Jones, Luke Cage, Iron Fist, and The Punisher—but it also took down several other properties: the magnificent Runaways on Hulu, the interesting Cloak & Dagger on Freeform, and possibly the psychedelic Legion on FX.⁸  And poor Helstom was practically stillborn: killed before it could ever air, stuck debuting with a cliffhanger that can never be resolved.  Still, this extremely unlikely Marvel property (Daimon Hellstrom is the sort-of-superhero Son of Satan, and his sister Satana is a borderline villain, not to mention the whole occult connection practically designed to have evangelicals up in arms) came off pretty decent.  It’s much more of a horror series than a superhero series, but the property is definitely comic-derived, and it embraces that anything-can-happen philosophy.  I enjoyed it, though I thought it could have been better.

Bosch S5 (Amazon Prime, ~10 hours) ★★★★

I discovered Michael Connelly after seeing him in a cameo on Castle.  His books about fictional police detective Hieronymus “Harry” Bosch are an interesting modern take on the hard-boiled detective genre.  So when Amazon Prime decided to do a series based on the books, I was in.  Titus Welliver makes an excellent Bosch, and the series manages to maintain its momentum even this far along.  Partially that’s due to a radically reimagined Chief Irving as portrayed by Lance Reddick, partially it’s due to the character arc acceleration of Maddie Bosch (wonderfully played by Madison Lintz), but I’m guessing mainly it’s just due to fantastic source material.

The Outsider S1 (HBO, ~10 hours) ★★★★★

I was hesitant to watch this one: while I love Stephen King stories, having one dressed up as a police procedural didn’t really seem like a good idea.  Sure, I love ’em both, but, as I’m sometimes fond of saying: I like both spaghetti and ice cream, too, but that doesn’t mean I want to eat them together.  So I put it off for far longer than I should—as it turns out, The Outsider is pretty awesome, and it kicks in fairly early (around episode 2 or so).  Ben Mendelsohn’s cop Ralph is ostensibly the protagonist, but that’s a bit like saying that Mikael Blomkvist is the protagonist of Stig Larsson’s Millenium trilogy.  Sure, he is in many ways the “main” character, but Lisbeth Salander is the real draw—there’s a reason why the English title for the first novel is The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and not The Magazine Editor with the Slight Pudge Around the Middle.  Here, Cynthia Erivo plays the Lisbeth Salander character, and I would watch “The Adventures of Holly Gibney, P.I.” all day long.  Great show.

Happy! S2 (Netflix, ~10 hours) ★★★★

There’s a blog post brewing in me about some of the best comic book shows that have little to nothing to do with superheroes, and this show will be near the top of the list of examplars.  What makes a comic book story is not the presence of superheroes; it’s the fact that anything can happen.  In a comic, a preacher, a vampire, and an assassin on a roadtrip to find the missing God is perfectly plausible, as is a boozy, washed-out detective who solves all his problems with violence and is suddenly visited by the all-too-real manifestation of his estranged daughter’s imaginary friend, who is a flying blue unicorn.  That latter is the rough premise of Happy!, although I don’t do it justice with that bland synopsis.⁹  With former Law & Order star Christopher Meloni as the ex-cop and the always delightful Patton Oswalt as the not-so-imaginary Happy, this is another one heavy on the gore, not to mention the massive amounts of smoking, drinking, drugs, and sex.  But it’s a delightful insanity, and S2 is just as weird and whimsical and at the same time action-packed and bloody as S1, plus it’s still delivering on the emotional payoff of the father trying to maintain a connection with a daughter that’s growing up too fast.  You need a particular kink in your brain to enjoy it, but, assuming you’ve got that, you should not miss this one.

The Magicians S5 (Netflix, ~10 hours) ★★★★★

Chris Hardwick once described The Magicians as “Harry Potter for adults,” and that’s not too far off.  In fact, S1 of the show was too much just that: while you might have (rightfully) wondered what the hell kind of high school kids they had at Hogwarts who never even tried to sneak off and have sex, the kids at Brakebills went far beyond mere sex and drugs and rock-and-roll—it seemed like the writers wanted to do horrible things to every main character just for the sheer shock value.  But persevere: by season three, it starts to get amazing, becoming almost more like a scifi show than a fantasy one ... multiple timelines, parallel worlds, time paradoxes, dystopian futures, and small recurring guest roles for genre favorites such as Felicia Day, Jewel Staite, and Matt Frewer.  But, honestly, Margo (the only character to be significantly revamped from the novels, even to the point of a name change) is the reason to stick with it.  Strong, foul-mouthed, unabashed and unafraid, never hesitating to name herself “High King” or tell her companions to “ovary up,” Margo’s amazing journey provides the best character and the most laughs.  This, the show’s final season, does not disappoint.

Lovecraft Country S1 (HBO, ~10 hours) ★★★★★

It’s difficult to describe how awesome this is.  First of all, Lovecraft is such a racist author that it’s difficult to imagine a positive story set in his universe with black protagonists.  I was also a little nervous that the depictions of racsim—and never doubt that the actual horror in this series comes from the white people of the 1950s, not the monsters—would overwhelm the supernatural elements and make the whole thing more depressing than scary.  But I knew that Jordan Peele (here the executive producer) had skillfully woven these two things together before, with Get Out, with Us, and with his deft hand at resurrecting The Twilight Zone.  He’s good, showrunner Misha Green is also good, and this show not only tackles thorny issues of racism and sexism, but does so with complex characters that are never perfect but rarely completely despicable (okay, some of the white people come close), and a veritable shitload of awesome Lovecraftian effects, which kick off right in the first episode and don’t let up until the powerful and satisfying conclusion.  Loved every minute of it.

Umbrella Academy S2 (Netflix, ~10 hours) ★★★★★

I was completely unfamiliar with the comic this show was based on, which was apparently written by the lead singer of My Chemical Romance, of all people.  But it’s fucking brilliant—at least the show is, and I’ve heard that many fans of the comic found the adaptation satisfying.  It’s sort of about superheroes ... but also not really.  Some reviews will try to convince you that it’s all about family, which it is ... but that also sells it remarkably short.  It’s utter surreality, nonsense which makes perfect sense, all wrapped in a time travel story that will make your brain explode but also tracks perfectly when you go back and view it again.  I rewatched S1 almost immediately after watching it the first time through, and nearly did so again before starting S2.¹⁰  S2 builds on the insanity of S1, but also takes it in new directions, and also hops backwards a few decades for the majority of the story.  There’s also a rockstar cast including Ellen Page, Colm Feore, and Mary J. Blige—not to mention the people I only learned of from appearing here, such as the amazing performance of Robert Sheehan, and the nuanced complexity of Aidan Gallagher, playing an adult in a child’s body, something which few can pull off.¹¹  It’s also completely batshit crazy.  And also brilliant.

Legacies S2 (Netflix, ~12 hours) ★★★

Okay, it sometimes happens that a show is crap, and then the spin-off of that show is only partially crap, and then the spin-off of the spin-off is not actually that bad.  Probably not that often, but Legacies, which is a spin-off of the barely tolerable The Originals, which is a spin-off of the execrable Vampire Diaries, is the exception that proves the rule.  Or something like that.  Supernatural teen dramas of course pretty much originate with Buffy, but they’re gaining a lot of popularity right now (The Order and the live-action Winx Club remake spring immediately to mind without even trying) in our post-Harry-Potter-and-Twilight world.  This one is ... watchable.  It’s nothing to write home about, and there’s at least one character that makes you want to drive a spike through her eyeball (I’ll be shocked if it takes you more than one episode to identify which one), but it has its moments.

Jessica Jones S3 (Netflix, ~13 hours) ★★★

The Marvel Netflix shows were all pretty amazing, at least at first.  I even thought Iron Fist was pretty decent, despite all the criticisms.  In the end, what they were building towards (which in my opinion was the inevitable combination of Simone Missick and Jessica Henwick in a show about Knightwing Restorations, which I would have killed for) was another casualty of Disney+ (see also Helstrom, above).  Jessica Jones, who by happenstance is the only superhero from the Marvel Netflix shows that I wasn’t previously familiar with, was surprisingly good in its first season.  Season 2 was a little less good, and by season 3, which is the final season due to the invention of the aforementioned streamining service of The Mouse (for which I will never forgive it), is the least good of all.  Krysten Ritter is still amazing, Carrie-Anne Moss and Eka Darville have interesting character arcs, but I wasn’t happy with Rachel Taylor’s Trish Walker.  Not that Taylor does a bad job ... I blame the writers.  Or possibly double down on blaming Disney Plus—it’s possible that the writers could have pulled it all together given another season (though I doubt it).  But I think I have too much love for the comics version of Patsy Walker to appreciate what JJ S3 is doing here.

The Blacklist S7 (Netflix, ~14½ hours) ★★

Another sunk cost fallacy.  After watching 6 seasons of something, you kind of want to see it through, even if it has been going downhill for a while.  Don’t get me wrong: James Spader is still an excellent actor, and some of the other characters still manage to engage.  But Elizabeth Keen is like Chloe from Lucifer or Jane Doe from Blindspot: I know I’m supposed to like her the best, but I just ... don’t.  Some of these shows should really pull a Good Fight (see last week).  (Interestingly, The Blacklist actually tried this, with its spin-off Redemption.  However, the fix to a weak female protagonist is not to replace her with a male protagonist.  The Good Fight really did this well, since Diane is so much more interesting and complex than Alicia ever was.  Blindspot could take a page as well: I’d watch the adventures of Patterson all day long.¹²)  But I digress, mainly to avoid talking about how depressingly bad Blacklist has gotten.  The last episode of the season, which was unfinished because of the pandemic, was particularly painful to watch.  Showrunners, I’ve a hard truth for you: if the only way you can finish your show is to fill it in with CGI-generated visuals, either leave it unfinished, or actually pay the money for good animation.  The halfway step is not a good look.

Batwoman S1 (HBO, ~15 hours) ★★★

This started out so well.  I adore Ruby Rose in just about everything I’ve ever seen her in,¹³ and she does an amazing job here with a little-known DC property.  Of course, one of the great things about making shows about obscure superheroes is that you can reinvent them without worrying too much about pissing off their fanbase, which is typically very small (though sometimes vocal).  Batwoman here is presented a strong, independent, kick-ass gay woman ... who inexplicably is constantly seeking to get back together with her ex, who is possibly the worst character I’ve ever seen in one of these shows.  I don’t mean the actor does a bad job with her, nor that the character is poorly written: just that she’s a terrible, terrible person.  It’s difficult to like a show when one of the people we’re supposed to be rooting for does more terrible things than the insane super-villain antagoinst.  And the fact that we’re supposed to believe as awesome a character as Kate Kane is (she’s Ruby fucking Rose, for fuck’s sake!) is constantly crawling back to a person who dumped her, lied to her, betrayed her, and tried to get her sister arrested (if we’re being generous) or even killed (she knew perfectly well what was going to happen when she sold out Alice) ... it makes it tougher to love the main character too.  Anyhow, Ruby left after the end of S1, so I’m out too.

The Order S1 – S2 (Netflix, ~15 hours) ★★★

Another one of those supernatural teen dramas (see also Legacies, above), this one is ... also okay.  Is it better than Legacies?  Well, it’s lighter on the teen angst and high school clique drama, so that’s a plus.  It’s giving screen time to the always reliable Matt Frewer, not to mention True Blood’s Sam Trammell and Katharine Isabelle from Ginger Snaps, so it’s nice to see those folks again.  But the actual kids in the show, who should be carrying the plot, are ... I mean, they’re okay.  I don’t have any specific complaints, I suppose, and some individual scenes are very funny.  But overall, it’s just ... okay.

Roll in the Family “The Slumbering Forest” + Holiday Special (YouTube, ~15 hours) ★★★★

Brennan Lee Mulligan is an amazing Dungeon Master, and the kids playing D&D here (along with their parents) are pretty awesome.  Kahlan Walters and Luke Bradford are probably the stand-outs, but Lexi and Maddy are also very fun to watch.  B. Dave Walters is always a treasure, and the other two parents were just fine.  The adventure here is not overly complex, but not dumbed down either.  A fun watch for those who enjoy D&D, or just those who enjoy watching kids have fun with their imaginations.

Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts S1 – S3 (Netflix, ~15 hours) ★★★★★

Every once in a while you find a “kid’s” show that has surprising depth and emotion.  This animated series on Netflix is about a “burrow girl” living in a future world whose home is destroyed and has to learn to live on the surface with mutated animals (all of whom are either talking or Godzilla-sized) and a world where everything wants to kill soft defenseless humans.  Yet, despite that dystopian description, Kipo is an amazingly fun ride that you can enjoy with your kids and still get sucked in yourself.  The animation is fantastic, the creatures and sets are whimsical and imaginative, the villains have complex motivations, and the ending is satisfying.  Plus lots of fun voices to try to recognize (like Sterling K. Brown and John Hodgman).

Young Justice S1 – S2 (HBO, ~17 hours) ★★★

I originally watched S1 of this show with my kids; S2 goes to a slightly weird place, and the show became harder to find, and we never finished the series.  So, when I discovered it on HBO Max, I thought I might give it another shot.  You have to really like superheroes and comics to fully enjoy this show, but, assuming that’s true, this is a pretty decent show.  It’s a reimagining of the Teen Titans, of which there have been many: two in the comics that I remember (and probably many that came along after I stopped reading), the Cartoon Network series, and the live-action series (see Titans, below).  This one is ... better, in some ways, and, at the very least, inventive.  There’s an angle on Robin that I haven’t seen before, a version of Aqualad with surprising depth, a younger, more earnest Zatanna, and some much-needed injections of diversity.  The plots are complex and interesting, but it really relies on you knowing (or being willing to look up) quite a few different heroes and villains from the comics to truly understand what’s going on most of the time.

Breakout Kings S1 – S2 (Hulu, ~17½ hours) ★★★

With the light that Black Lives Matter has shone upon cop shows this past year,¹⁴ I’m starting to sour on these types of shows.  But I found this one (nearly 10 years old at this point) while scrolling around, desperate for something to watch, and it had Malcolm Goodwin (four years before iZombie) and Jimmi Simpson (five years before Westworld, but actually concurrent with his recurring role on Psych, which I loved), so I figured, how bad could it be?  And it’s not bad.  The focus on the work-release prisoners, and the fact that they don’t devolve into criminal stereotypes, helps a lot, but there’s still several scenes where the cops on the show want to “bend the rules” or rough up a suspect, and you can’t help but cringe.  Still, not the worst such show in the world.

Titans S1 – S2 (HBO, ~18 hours) ★★★

I wanted to like this show ... I really did.  I has a number of interesting deviations from the standard Teen Titans retellings, including reimagining Starfire as a black woman, Hawk and Dove as boyfriend/girlfriend rather than brothers, and an older Robin, post-Batman and fairly disgusted with the whole superhero scene.  But a number of things keep it from reaching its full potential, in my opinion.  First and foremost, a radical shift in tone and plot from S1 to S2 is hard to reconcile; S1 is slow-paced, but that gives us time to learn the characters and what each can do.  S2 decides, fuck it: this is a superhero show, dammit! and takes off at a breakneck speed that can be wearing after a while.  I think budgetary constraints are problematic as well: Beast Boy, for instance, can turn into exactly two beasts, which really makes him far less effective than he should be.  My final analysis: good, but flawed.

Doom Patrol S1 – S2 (HBO, ~24 hours) ★★★★

While the Doom Patrol is a group of superheroes, Doom Patrol is not your typical superhero show ... or your typical any kind of show, for that matter.  Anchored by some magnificent performances by Timothy Dalton, Brenadan Fraser, and Matt Bomer, the real stand-out is the one character I wasn’t familiar with from reading the comics: Crazy Jane, as portrayed with amazing facility by Diane Guerrero.  Created by Grant Morrison (the same twisted mind for responsible for Happy!—see above), Jane came along a few years after I got out of comics.  She seems at first to be a cheap gimmick: she has multiple personalities, and each personality has a different superpower.  But there is surprising depth here, and that is only the beginning of the wonderful weirdness, which includes several alternate dimensions, a talking cockroach (voiced brilliantly by Curtis Armstrong), a sex demon, a chaos magician who uses a mystical cigarette to open portals and is in love with a ghostly floating horse head, and a non-binary sentient piece of urban landscape that can relocate itself at will.  What’s not to love?

Agents of SHIELD S6 – S7 (Netflix, ~26½ hours) ★★★

I used to watch this show religiously, but I somehow lost track of where it was airing during our journey from cable to satellite to full-on cordcutting.  Honestly, I didn’t find S5 to be living up to the high standards set by the first few seasons anyhow, so I wasn’t really missing it.  But, here I was with lots of time to kill, and there were only two more seasons and I could close it out for good ...  And, you know what? these last two seasons are better than the previous two combined.  Not as good as the first two or three, granted, but this is a very strong 3—almost a 4.  (Literally, as I was writing this, I kept looking at those 3 stars and thinking mabye I should change ’em ...)  If you enjoyed the first few seasons but aren’t sure if they could come back strong and finish on a satisfying note, put your mind at ease.  If you never enjoyed the show that much, though, this ain’t gonna turn that around.  But the timehopping in the final season gives them an opportunity to do a lot of creative things, storywise, and I was overall very satisfied with how it all came out.

Sense8 S1 + special + S2 + movie, rewatch (Netflix, ~26½ hours) ★★★★★

There’s something to be said for just giving up and watching something you already watched once, and enjoyed it so much you want to watch it all over again.  I wasn’t quite ambitious enough to do the whole interleaved Buffy and Angel thing again (maybe someday), but rewatching this brilliant, amazing, Netflixed-too-soon show that was a marriage of the creators of The Matrix and the creator of Babylon 5, a show that celebrated diversity, sexuality, and human connection over all else ... that decision was a no-brainer.  While the series conclusion feels rushed (because it totally was: the showrunners had to wrap up two or three seasons’ worth of storylines in one mega-long movie), the show overall is still radiant, and groundbreaking.  All the actors are great, and, while the recasting of Aml Ameen was unfortunate, they handled it well, I thought (Jela tells Capheus he’s “looking a little different these days,” to which Capheus replies: “new barbershop”).  The whole concept of this, as a show, shouldn’t work: 8 main characters—8 simultaneous protagonists!—is too much for an audience to keep up with: you’d either have to strip the characters down to make them completely flat, or else overwhelm the viewer with too much information about them.  The showrunners do neither, using an amazing, interwoven style of storytelling that lets one or two characters shine for an episode while the others’ stories simmer along in the background, waiting their turn to explode into action.  The most brilliant part of this scheme is that you don’t actually have to like all the protagonists to still love the show: personally I find Kala to be too mousy and Riley to be a bit bland, but the dynamism of Nomi and the controlled fury of Sun easily make up for it; Lito’s story is touching, Wolfgang’s dark and gritty, and Will and Capheus are interesting enough.  And the supporting characters!  Freema Agyeman as Amanita is utterly luminous, but Daniela, Felix, and Bug are all great too, and Whispers (Terence Mann, a long way from his Critters days) was the perfect villain.  This show is one of those great experiences that can be emotionally devastating one minute and then completely uplifitng the next.  Just an amazing, amazing show, and one of my favorites of the past decade or two.

Legends of Tomorrow S2 – S5 + crossover episodes (from Arrow, Flash, and Supergirl) (Netflix, ~58 hours) ★★★

I have a thing for obscure superheroes.  I never liked Superman, or Captain America, and Batman and Spider-Man were passing interests at best.  So it’s no surprise that, in the Arrowverse of shows (including Arrow, Flash, Supergirl, and Batwoman—see above), I gravitated right to the one starring the Atom, Firestorm, Hawgirl, and White Canary, as brought together by the super obscure Rip Hunter (Time Master), and throw in Captain Cold and Heatwave for a little Suicide Squad vibe.  Later seasons upped the ante by bringing in folks like Vixen, Steel, and the ever-awesome John Constantine.  This is just good, clean, dimension-hopping, traveling-through-time-to-fix-the-past, sending-monsters-back-to-Hell, superhero fun.  Although it probably wouldn’t play nearly as well for those not as immersed in comics as I once was.  Still, this show manages to be a whole lot of fun (surprisingly, a lot of that fun comes from Dominic Purcell’s gruff but layered portrayal of Heatwave, a very minor villain in DC continuity, but a superstar here), and I felt compelled to watch the whole run (I had watched S1 a while back, before the pandemic started), including biting the bullet and finding just those episodes of Arrow, Flash, and Supergirl that I had to watch to understand all the crossover events.  So it was a lot of content, and I still can’t bring myself to give it a 4 (though I’d say it’s a strong 3), but I don’t regret a minute of it.

The Big Bang Theory S1 – S12 (HBO, ~86½ hours) ★★★

For many years, I only knew of BBT, and so naturally I assumed Sheldon was the protagonist of the show.  Earning my scorn for being overly popular, I finally decided to give it a chance over the pandemic—what better time to binge nearly 100 hours of a 12-year sitcom?  Imagine my surprise to learn that Sheldon is not the protagonist (that would be Leonard); rather Sheldon is the comic relief.  Still, for all its easy jokes and poking fun at nerd culture, it satisfied my two criteria for a long-running comedy: give me characters I can care about, and make me laugh out loud at least once every show.  Oh, and: don’t piss me off.¹⁵  It’s not a great show, but it’s a good one, and I don’t regret the time investment, significant though it was.  I see a lot of my middle child in Sheldon, and a touch of myself in Leonard.  Plus now I adore Mayim Bialik.

So, that’s it!  All told, that’s 725 hours of viewing, if my math is right.  That’s somewhere in the neighborhood of 12% of my waking hours, and, as I say: that’s not even considering the Critical Role (which is probably at least another 100 hours), or movies (it would only take 50 or so movies to be yet another hundred hours, and I’d be surprised if I didn’t hit that), shows that I started but never finished, a year’s worth of The Daily Show and Stephen Colbert’s Late Show ... I’m guessing 1,000 hours in front of the TV is a conservative estimate.  While you guys were fiddling with your sourdough and experimenting with new Zoom backgrounds, I was plowing through some great, and not-so-great, TV shows, mostly with an eye towards fantasy elements ... I freely admit I was hunting escapism with a savage intensity.  They weren’t all successes, but I’m not sorry to have watched very many of them.  They kept my mind off the state of the world, and that was, after all, the ultimate goal.  I think I achieved that much, at least.

I sincerely hope there’s never a need for another round-up like this.  It’s a little depressing to reckon up how much time I lost to what we used to call “the boob tube.” But, as I said at the beginning, we live in a golden age of television, and mindless pablum is slowly disappearing due to lack of oxygen.  Rich, complex, long-form storytelling is in, and I’ve always loved a good story.  There are a lot of shows here that I feel richer for having watched—and a few stinkers, granted—so I try not to beat myself up too much.  But, if I’m serving as a counterpoint to make you feel better about your own time management choices during the pandemic, I’m okay with that too.  We’ve all gotten through it in our own ways.

Here’s hoping that my use of the past perfect tense in that sentence is appropriate.

__________

1 For the record, the Great Masterpieces of the other four are It, Floating Dragon, Strangers, and Imajica.

2 The other being Watchmen.

3 Seriously, why do people even put their show on Fox any more?  They just know that, in a season or two, Fox is gonna cancel them, and then they’ll have a bunch of pissed off fans screaming at them.  Who really thinks that’s worth the hassle?

4 Examples of where this has worked (danger! spoilers ahead!): Farscape, Burn Notice, Chuck, Eureka, Bones.

5 First is, obviously, It.  See earlier footnote.

6 If you haven’t seen her yet in Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency, you really are doing yourself a disservice.

7 Between this and Happy! (see below), he may be in danger of getting typecast.

8 To be fair, the Legion folks claim they were never going to do more than 3 seasons.  But I’m not sure I buy it.

9 The former, of course, is the equally insane Preacher.

10 When S3 comes out, I may very well do a whole marathon.

11 The only other examples that spring to mind are Alicia Witt in Lynch’s Dune and Kirsten Dunst in Interview with the Vampire.

12 Though Critical Role fans would no doubt crucify me for even suggesting it.

13 Her brief run in Orange Is the New Black is great; her one episode of Dark Matter is even better.  For maximum Ruby Rose awesomeness, however, try The Meg or, even better, xXx: The Return of Xander Cage, which may be one of the most satisfying franchise wrap-up movies of all time.  Sure, the Triple-X series is mindless popcorn fare, but it’s good at what it does, and Ruby Rose elevates it even further.

14 I touched on this briefly in last week’s review of Broadchurch.

15 Hear that, Friends?